Thanks everyone
@Shaz51 @Clawde @Eve7 @BlueBay @Anastasia @Bow @Snowie @Appleblossom @tyme @Oaktree @HenryX @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @simplesymbol and others. Hi @Former-Member 😊
Not doing that well actually, the lack of sleep is playing havoc with my wellbeing right now. As I explained to @NatureLover elsewhere, I cannot entirely blame the lack of sleep on an increase in pain levels. I have also commenced a new course of EMDR therapy. Only in the preparation stages right now, but it has involved what they call 'mapping'. This means the therapist is getting a lot of the trauma incidents out of me so that she knows what specifically to concentrate on when it comes down to the business end, and what can be processed together. So it is bringing up a lot of old trauma memories that I have tried hard to push down and forget. So there are many nights that things just churn through my head over and over. Its like everything is in fast forward or rewind or something, and you don't know how to stop it. I am currently having two sessions with the clinical psychologist per week, and some of that includes getting me ready to be able to deal with what is involved in the therapy itself. She assures me that I will have the support I need, should I need it. I guess that's reassuring, to some extent. But its also daunting, when I am here on my own. So yeah, my lack of sleep is partly to do with what's been happening around this over the last couple of weeks.
Now, you asked about when my surgery is booked in for. Currently the 11th October, which is still 4 months away. The specialist told me that there is a good chance that I will get called up earlier than that, given all the COVID and flu around, and likely cancellations. Although the surgery booking nurse told me that there are a lot of people on the cancellation list, so that didn't sound so promising. I think I just have to be prepared to accept an earlier call up at any time, should I get the call. Otherwise I wait the 4 long months.
I think the surgeon is reluctant to do the new surgery too soon anyway because there has been some unexpected reactions from my first surgery. And those complications will make subsequent surgeries more difficult. I think he is hoping it may improve a little over time, hence why my surgery was scheduled so far in advance initially. Yeah trust me to develop a rare reaction to surgery! Cannot seem to take a trick at all.
Not sure I told you or not, but what I thought was a single surgery is now a double surgery. First surgery through the front to remove discs from the front of the spine, via an incision through the tummy. They remove the damaged discs which are causing issues with spinal cord and nerves, then put in artificial discs and bone graft to the front of the spine to fuse it. A vascular surgeon is needed along with the orthopaedic surgeon. Then some 4-7 days later they open me up from the back and remove parts of the spine and again use bone graft and then rods and screws and then sew you back up again. All pretty daunting stuff. Will be in ICU for several days after each surgery, and in hospital for a longer period than I was last time. And back into rehab all over again.
Meanwhile I am still doing the day rehab (exercise physiology and hydrotherapy) twice a week. That will end after another 2 weeks, which I'm actually quite pleased about because I feel that everything I do is exacerbating the pain. I get depressed that its been a month since I started back at rehab and it has not gotten any easier, and I am not making any progress at all. I still need my walking stick to get around if I am out and likely to be walking further than about 50 meters or likely to be standing for any time at all. My leg is still very weak and will cave in without warning, which is very annoying. And its still very painful. Sitting is becoming even more painful than it was before. Thank goodness I can lay down and rest since my surgery, even if I cannot sleep. Sigh ... but that's just me having a whinge. Sorry everyone.
Emelia 💞🤗
