Okay I'm just making an attempt to respond to some of the messages from yesterday from all you beautiful caring people. Sorry its taken so long ... yesterday was not a good day. Today is an improvement. Not sure how tomorrow will go regarding my clinical psych apt. At least I havent got a phone call to cancel my appointment. Though given its 2pm tomorrow, there is still time. I was looking at how long its been since I last saw her. It was 2 weeks after my 10th November surgery ... on 25th November. Thats 14 weeks ... 3.5 months ... a bl**dy long time! No wonder I've gone down hill. My usual ptsd rubbish, plus the cancer and subsequent treatment ... my psych has been absent through a truly difficult period of my life. Possibly the most difficult ... barring what I went through 25 years ago. I dont know what I'm going to say to my psych tomorrow. There is so much to cover.
@Snowie ... thanks for your post yesterday to say that you and others are here for me. Thats very true, and I appreciate that fact so much. You are here for so many of us Snowie, and always consistent in your support. Thats important to know.
@Bow ... I know you are in a bad place right now, and yet you still posted to me here yesterday. You didnt need a lot of words ... the sweet puppy, the fine china cup of tea and lovely flowers ... said it all. That you are a thoughtful kind person and that you care. And I thank you.
@Anastasia ... Yes what you say is correct ... he was a rapist! Still is and always will be. And he got away with it, thanks to my pathetic weakness. I'm sorry to hear that, but for luck, something like that could have happened to you also. And from a so-called friend. Is this just the way life is meant to be? That there are always going to be the vulnerable ones ... and the dominant ones who just take what they want, when they want? Should we just accept that and learn to get over it? Why is life so damned unjust? We have a justice system in this country ... but mostly its geared to protect the guilty, rather than give justice to the innocent. Its little wonder that so few rapes or sexual assaults are ever reported. Its just wrong! Oh lovely Myboy ... you ... a crazy person? I think not. A very caring kind and generous soul .. yes, definitely. One of life's wonders? Yes, for sure. Love you more.
@WIP ... thinking of you and your little Levi. Thanks for your support. Hoping your DBT course goes well tomorrow.
@Shaz51 ... thank you dear Shaz. You are here for so many, and I thank you on all our behalf. I realise your health has been causing more problems for you lately. And on top of all the other things you deal with ... Mr Shaz and your Mum, and now the cyclone up North ... it must feel very overwhelming at times. Your GP is right to be concerned for you, and I hope they follow up on your care. Hope you are battening down and staying safe from the cyclone.
@Former-Member ... what a lovely pic .. thank you so much. Much love and a big hug to you too sweet EOR.
@Owlunar ... thank you so much for your post here yesterday. I realise you have not been online much due to the worsening of your shoulder pain and subsequent inability to be on the computer very much. So your visit was very much appreciated. See above paragraph to Myboy, as it covers some of what you said in your post. I wont repeat it, re rapists. No of course I didnt cause what happened, to happen. I would never wish that on anyone, much less myself. Its just an awful thing to go through ... not even knowing if you are going to survive. Your life threatened, not knowing if there will be a tomorrow. Yeah, although the 29th Feb is the actual day, there was no 29th this year of course. I think people born on 29th Feb, usually celebrate their birthday on the 28th dont they? And yet, on non leap years ... I tend to think of the 1st Mar as the real anniversary. Perhaps because that was the day that I was so devastatingly affected by what had occurred the afternoon/evening before. The day I was experiencing the effects of concussion, being violently ill, constantly in the shower to try to wash away the filth, unable to sleep, went into lockdown. The 1st March was the day I had to phone my workplace and tell them that I wouldnt be in to work that day, that I was sick. That year, the 29th was a Thursday. I rang and had a sick day on the Friday, said I'd be back on the Monday. Which I was ... wearing appropriate clothing to cover the bruises, despite it being a hot day. I spent much of that Monday in the bathroom I recall. Enough on me. I'm sorry your shoulder is getting worse, but I know you were expecting that to happen. What day are you seeing your pain specialist? Doesnt make it better though of course. Rats ... I hate rats and mice! Thank you for your care and your prayers, as well as for the kind words you said of me. You are very kind. I'm sorry I missed your lunchtime coffee. I would have liked that. Only for me ... an iced coffee, which I do like. Its only hot coffee that I dont enjoy.
Hi also to my friend @Clawde .. ever present, ever supportive ... thank you Clawde.
Emelia 💞
