A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Snowie]

Morning @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Emelia8 @Mellysmellyelly and anyone else around.

Hoping your day goes well and their is some lightness in it.

Many hugs and wishes sent your way 💛💜

[outlander]

@Emelia8 💕

[Bow]

@Emelia8 💕

[Emelia8]

Thanks so much @Anastasia @Former-Member @Snowie @outlander @Bow  🙏💓🌸

And hello dear @Clawde ... I see you there today.  How are you going my friend?

And for info @greenpea @WIP @Owlunar @BlueBay @Peri  @Former-Member @NatureLover @Eve7 @Sans911 @eth @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Mellysmellyelly  and any others following.

I'm having a fairly quiet day here today.  Managed to get a lot done yesterday, so I can rest up a bit today.

Which I'm glad of because I feel so very tired.  Definitely the fatigue is setting in more each day.  And I am really sore since Friday too ... not just the heat, redness and irritation of the skin ... but more of an internal soreness.  I dont know ... maybe its healthy tissue reacting to the radiation, or maybe its cancer cells dying?  Not sure which I'd rather.  If its cancer cells dying I guess thats great, but its a concern that they are still there after surgery.  And if its healthy cells reacting, then I guess in time they will regenerate.

But only 3 more treatments to go now Mon, Tues and Wed.  I'm not sure exactly what will be happening during my treatment review with the radiation oncologist on Monday afternoon.  But the radiation therapists said it would be highly unlikely that they would extend treatment after Wednesday.  They did xrays each week to monitor how things were going, so maybe the oncologist will discuss any issues there.  If there are any.  And perhaps she will talk about when I may need a follow up appointment with her, and her recommendations about any other ongoing treatment needed.  Such as the oral chemo pills, ongoing scans, surgeon reviews, medical oncologist follow up, etc.  Thats what I'm expecting, given what the therapist told me on Friday.  But thats speculation only, so I should just wait and see.  But I'm one of those people who like a heads up on what to expect ... so its kinda hard not knowing.

Tomorrow is the first day of February.  I'm dreading next month, I really am.  But I am grateful at least that I am finished my radiation before the anniversary date.  Because it means I'm not in a strange place while badly triggered with traumatic memories of the date.  I have already started to have some nightmares, which is a little worrying.  I see my clinical psych on 17th February, so I will be seeking her support around the upcoming anniversary.  Its already 2 months since I last saw her, due to my December apt being cancelled due to the death of her father.  Its been a long wait.

I know I am yet to respond properly to a number of your respective posts from the past week or so.  I just dont seem to have had the energy.  And also when I'm away as I have been lately I only have a little mobile, which is hard to find and respond to numerous people.  So my apologies ... I hope I can find a chance to get back to you after Wednesday.  I will hopefully have a little more time then, and be back home rather than travelling daily and/or staying overnight at the hospital.  Thanks for your patience and understanding.

Emelia 🌸💞

[Snowie]

@Emelia8 

Glad you are having a quiet day. You have got a busy week coming up so some time to yourself sounds good.

I'm sorry Feb is such a hard month for you. Hoping you have the support around you that you need and you can get in to see your psych. Please remember that we are only a tag away too and here to help you through the hard times.

Please don't be sorry for not responding to messages. You have so much on your plate already hun. Just look after yourself sweetie 

💜💜

[Former-Member]

Morning @Emelia8 sounds like you're really coming to terms with things, I sense a peace with it all there somewhere in between the words. You've done so well. And I too am glad you're not in a strange place when that February trauma date is upon you. I have to retreat to my cave at these times too (still in one :till after valentine's day I reckon). I know is "avoidance" but.... anyway, It's important to reduce other stressors as much as possible, to be kind to yourself Em, glad that's worked alout a little for you. It's ok. We're here for you.
I can't find a reason to get out of bed yet today. Mother nature will sort that out soon though lol I'll have my morning cuppa thinking of you. Youre such an inspiration 😢 Stay strong precious lady. Keep your fluids up. xox

[greenpea]

@Emelia8  Hey sweetheart 3 more treatments to go is wonderful news :). You are doing so well. Wishing you kind and caring thoughts over the anniversy ..... remember pea is always here if you need me. Love you hunny. peaxxx

[Peri]

Hi @Emelia8 ,

a quiet day sounds blissful.  My granddaughter is with us , and we have had things to do all three days. I feel exhausted and spent. 

I don’t think you woukd feel cells dying, if they were the case we woukd feel that all the time. With or without radiotherapy.  But the radiotherapy will set up an inflammatory response in the tissue and that is painful. Also the surgery you had cuts nerve endings or alit was explained to me and they can take ages to heal. So it all needs time to settle down. 

I don’t want to put you off, but I still have beast pain 11 years down the track.  I think it is the results of radiotherapy and surgery. I have a lot of scar tissue within the breast and it hurts.  

Never mind, I am still alive!

[Peri]

Hi @Emelia8 ,

a quiet day sounds blissful.  My granddaughter is with us , and we have had things to do all three days. I feel exhausted and spent. 

I don’t think you woukd feel cells dying, if they were the case we woukd feel that all the time. With or without radiotherapy.  But the radiotherapy will set up an inflammatory response in the tissue and that is painful. Also the surgery you had cuts nerve endings or that was explained to me and they can take ages to heal. So it all needs time to settle down. 

I don’t want to put you off, but I still have breast pain 11 years down the track.  I think it is the results of radiotherapy and surgery. I have a lot of scar tissue within the breast and it hurts.  

Never mind, I am still alive!

i enjoy reading about how you are going.  It brings back a lot of memories, it is not sad, I am proud of how I managed it all.  And it is ongoing, I recently had my annual mammogram 

peri

[Former-Member]

Hugzz-n-hugzz ((((((@Peri)))))) 💙 so hard 🙏
@greenpea - you find the best pics 💚🤗