9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

[Loopy]

Öh for goodness sake get a grip on life, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get  on with it"

Just anothery,

loopy.

[peace]

Loopy if I had a $ for every time that has been said to me I go on a holiday and not come back.

[kristin]

Sadly Peace if all with a MI had a $ for every bit of stigma we deal with we'd quickly be very well of financially!

Cheers, 
Kristin

[kristin]

Good for you @Uggbootdiva !

I hope you felt better after getting that off your chest! It makes me steaming-from-the-ears-furious too.

In the ed-talk you might add that for some people the drugs just simply do not work. It's the main reason I don't take meds. They either make me very sick or do nothing at all. It's made me work out a way to maintain my health without them - but I would have used them if they'd worked, especially when the depression was so crippling!

Kind regards,

Kristin

[CherryBomb]

I was once told by a wise teacher that  ' to say nothing, says something' when we don't voice our concerns when someone says something that's stigmatising.

Of course, we want to choose our battles, but I think that all those moments where people can teach others something (those that are willing to learn) that's a huge gain in challenging stereotypes.

P.S. @Uggbootdiva, would love to see that meme that you are talking about. 

[PeppiPatty]

Hi Loopy, Cherry Bomb, Uggbovitta, Kirsten,


I've got a good friend, who's here.....making my dinner....the last few days a bit feral, and she's a good friend. And I keep it in a dialogue and it's difficult but I mindfully put myself in her position, that she's helped me with the separation of my ex husband and we play scrabble most nights......never did I feel that I would end up in the position I'm in.....on the weekend she and I had a huge argument, she is struggling with her own times of experiencing MI and I'm very present for that........but she's taken on board a lot too much......anyways, she's yelling at me for something she's imagined I've done, I told her to leave.......she swore and left. I left her a letter, she left me another, I apologised but choosing to only see the good in her.

Went to see my psychologist and collapsed over a few things that have happened, she says.....You are doing too much You don't want this situation but your working full on, your concerned about your housing, you have this situation and you need to stop, take two weeks off and just sit.
Jeepers I say, this is what my dear friend is saying but she's so negative and she's interfering in my life but if I swipe this feeling away and that away .......
golly, it's too hard.



Yes Loopy, I know what your saying.

[Loopy]

just another47yr, bloody oath, if only we could merge everybodys brain , in this forum, what a power to be reckoned with. Without any professional qualifications, only life experience, we could help every poor bugger suffering from MI. I have been in situations where in conversation I have anticipated the next comment and have told that person to keep their words of wisdom to their self because "there is nothing new under the sun" I think we all need to recognise that and that we are not msomething new or strange just bloody unfortunate. I saw my shrink today so I am on a bit of a sooky downer but the posts that have come through are an inspiration that at least some of the thing I ramble o about are good for some people.

loopy. ( back to research).

[Loopy]

justanother 47yr, sorry can't help myself , “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?” “Do I speak at the right time, or not? Do I speak of facts, or not? Do I speak gently or harshly? Do I speak profitable words or not? Do I speak with a kindly heart, or inwardly malicious?” buddist.

dumb loopy.

[Uggbootdiva]

@CherryBomb tell me how to insert pix using the ipad version of the forum and I would do it now!

[kristin]

Hey @PeppiPatty 

Sorry to hear you are going through the wringer there. i can relate to having far too much going on.

I really hope you can get that 2 weeks breather!

Interesting that your psych and friend are both basically saying the same thing. It makes a huge difference when someone can offer suggestions or even advice in a straight way, without negatively loading it with some of their own baggage. It's quite a skill, hard to acquire. Sounds like your friend may have good intentions but her own struggles are gettin gin the way.

Take care, I hope something eases up soon.

Kind regards,

Kristin