9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

[PeppiPatty]

Coffeegirl this is a good point,
we must thank one dimensional television for that.

[Uggbootdiva]

There is a hilarious meme doing the rounds of Facebook at the mo. if I can get to normal pc I will try and post. Basically it is contrasting what it would be like if people said to physically ill people what they say to those with mi.

First cartoon pic the first figure's arm is bl33ding everywhere and the figure2 standing by watching says it's like you are not even trying

adiabetic is injecting their insulin and the person says don't you worry that taking medication every day will stop you from being normal?and so on. Better in pix.

[Loopy]

peace, I am sorry to say, it is MI and that is what it effects "You mind"  sorry "our minds"

loopy.

[Loopy]

justanother47yr, don'they just keep coming there are so many d/heads out there with so much divel for advice. I mostly say, "don't you think I try because I certainly do not like what I am".

“You have everything you need to get better.”

“You can snap out of it. Everyone feels this way sometimes.”

 “Just pray about it.”

“You have the same illness as my ______.”

stupid. no loopy

[Loopy]

Uggbootdiva, I am sorry but my opinion of 90% of facebook users are losers, who else would say the things about themselves, private and very personal, for the world to see and make other stupid remarks about the first stupid remark. I think I got that right.

loopy

[peace]

Yeah loopy it is all in my mind. But it is not controllable just by what I think or do. It is beyond mind control. Why can't they understand that? If they knew how horrible it was to be me, to feel the way I do they'd know that I'd do whatever I can to turn it around. I so envy those who find life so easy and joyful. I even envy those who can fake it.

[kristin]

Hi Peace,

I really hate that "it's all in your mind/head" attitude. It is so damn pathologising! For starters there's the ignorance of it - even if it IS all in your mind the comment is blaming/disabling rather than supportive. It also ignores the fact that we have a subconscious and we are not in control of that (or even of our conscious mind as much as we'd like to believe). then there is the fact that our body also holds memories, including those too painful for our minds to hold.

I agree that "positive thinking" can have some grace to offer, but it goes no where near healing years of trauma and abuse. Things which are often significant contributors to MI. I speak from experience - I tried positive thinking for many years, and I blamed myself when I couldn't make it work. Counter-intuitively it has only been since I've had the support to start looking into the darkest parts of my life that I have started to appreciate how much light and grace there truly is.

I think supportive relationships are a vital key to wellness for everyone - MI sufferer or no. The forum is definitely a gift of grace. 

Kind regards,

Kristin

[kristin]

Hi @coffeegirl 

I completely agree.

What I find even more scary is when someone with MI has had such a number done on them that they completely identify AS their illness - eg I am bipolar. It seems to me to be a totally disempowering millstone to wellness to tell someone they are their illness. The underlying message in it is that you cannot get/be well.

I am not bipolar - I have bipolar, but I am finding my own ways to be well/recover - even if they don't fit people's (without an MI) ideas of what I should be like.

Kind regards,

Kristin

[Uggbootdiva]

@Loopy that's fine - as we have established you are entitled to your opinion. It doesn't mean the meme isn't really funny!

[Uggbootdiva]

I have heard waaaay too many times "just snap out of it". Not to me fortunately cause then I might snap something of theirs... 😉 but about depressed people.

Oh and this whole idea that we are the pop the haPpy pill generation. Like why don't we just deal with our problems without resorting to the easy option of popping a pill.
Want to get me so angry I want to do something violent?? Say that one to me. It is just so ignorant and arrogant and and...aaaaaah!
I WISH it was the easy option. I wish I could just pop a pill and be ok. And I wish stupid swearword ignorant swearwords would just get educated.
Phew - rant over.

If I think if they actually want to know different I will discuss with them that medication is not an amphetamine or a party drug. It takes ages to kick in and can take a lifetime to find the right combination.

Otherwise I just go away and take deep breathes and remind myself that I am ignorant about some things too.