Topic Tuesday// Suicide: You Can Talk About It// Tuesday 31st October 2023 5:30-7PM AEDT

[amber22]

Sometimes it is really hard to know who the 'right people' are to tell @chibam and also it can come with a lot of trial and error! 

I'm sorry that your therapist wasn't very clear when you tried to explain it. 

I've found when talking about suicide to people it is always best to just be super upfront and (sometimes almost confronting), and as long as the person that is receiving this information doesn't make you feel burdening or judged because of what you're expressing, then I think you're doing really well in letting people know.

[Captain24]

I so totally feel that @TideisTurning. There is so much more to it than just wanting to end it. It takes a lot to end up in that suicidal space. It’s not so much help to stop you ending your life it’s more so helping with what has lead you down that path. 

[chibam]

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@Snowie wrote:

When you ask someone if they are suicidal, it is so much more then a yes or no.

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IMO, suicide isn't as binary as life or death; it's about the best option available. There are fates better then death, fates worse then death, and in the middle, there is death. I just want the highest rung on the ladder that I can get.

If all the fates better then death are blocked off to me, then let me have death, rather then any of the options less desirable.

[amber22]

Just as long as we know that you are safe, you're always welcome to use SANE as your safe space. 

And even if you aren't safe, we can help you with some steps always (as you know!!) ❤️

You're never alone @Snowie 

[TideisTurning]

Starting to wrap up our discussion now with our last question for @Snowdragon: 

What is self-soothing? How might it help someone experiencing suicidality?  

For the community: What might a go-to healthy self-soothing activity be for you? What self-soothing or self care activity will you do to take care of yourself after the discussion this evening? 

[chibam]

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@amber22 wrote:

I've found when talking about suicide to people it is always best to just be super upfront and (sometimes almost confronting), and as long as the person that is receiving this information doesn't make you feel burdening or judged because of what you're expressing, then I think you're doing really well in letting people know.

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I don't think I've ever met anyone like that in my life, @amber22 .

Even amongst the people who have responded most gently to my suicidalness, most seem to just be trying to interrogate me so that they can build a strategy to manipulate me around to behaving according to their desires.

[lemlem678]

@chibam completely agree with what you've said. Rather than us feeling we have a choice, often it ends up we do things out of compliance to alleviate the distress responses from other to our experience of not wanting to live. Compliance is not the right approach to stopping people from suiciding.
I wonder if people could easily get a prescription to die how many people would take it up? How would that potentially change the landscape of suicide and talking about suicide.
Assisted dying is reserved for those who are terminally ill. What about those who do have mental health issues that don't go away and are forced to be the living dead essentially.
There are so many systemic issues that are contributors to people not wanting to be alive and these things just do not seem to ever get address or changed.

[Snowdragon]

When you feel emotionally overwhelmed, the emotional part of your brain (called the limbic system) takes over and the rational or thinking part of your brain takes a back seat. Calming your emotions (or self soothing) is an important skill to develop. The trick is to find self soothing activities that work for you

There are three different factors that can make a particular activity more soothing:  

Familiarity: Activities that are associated with pleasant memories from the past 

Multi-Sensory: Our emotional brain responds best when activities are multi-sensory and involve sound, sight, taste, touch, and smell. 

Repetitive Motion: Studies suggest that repetitive motion, such as chewing gum, knitting, or rocking in a chair, can produce serotonin in the brain. Our bodies are naturally inclined towards repetitive motion, like pacing, when we are agitated. 

[Captain24]

Can I talk to you about this later please @amber22 ? 

[Snowie]

I know that SANE can be a safe space @amber22 

I also realise that there are times where we need to step away for our own mental health.

Another concern is of course triggering others when I feel suicidal. I don't want to put that on members that are already struggling with their own mental health.