I feel upset

[The-red-centaur]

Not really @rav3n i guess that's why I posted here. I feel stuck and alone and worthless and like my life doesn't matter. And I feel like going back to old behaviours. Idk. 

I'm curled up in bed trying to regulate. I'm just in a lot of pain. 

[rav3n]

@The-red-centaur your life does matter. it matters heaps to me. it matters heaps to our community. 

it's okay to take a moment to feel that frustration and exhaustion, to pause and give yourself a break. struggling isn't a sign of going backwards, and maybe it might take a bit of time to find your way forward again but that's okay - you can sit in the middle and catch your breath. 

please do look after yourself and stay safe - i unfortunately have to hop off now, wish i could sit with you longer but i will be thinking of you. and please don't hesitate to reach out to a helpline if things get too heavy, you are NOT alone. sending you lots of love and healing energy 💗

[The-red-centaur]

@rav3n thanks for listening. I know you guys get busy and have times you allowed on. Take care and sleep well. 

[rav3n]

hey @The-red-centaur how are you going? hoping you got some rest this weekend 💙

[The-red-centaur]

Hey sorry its taken a while to reply with something. 

I've been looking at my options going forward. I've been having discussions with my current provider and other providers. It's been stressful and I've been having to deal with a few other stressors. 

I feel like it's too hard to think straight. My mind can't focus (way less than usual) and i feel sick and just too tired. I feel so mentally foggy and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing 

[The-red-centaur]

I can't deal with things anymore. On top of it I have developed a cold or flu and I feel rubbish. 

My life feels like it's crashing around me. I need to find some sense of control. My thoughts are heading to a dark space and I feel like I can't do much about it. 

I don't want to fight it anymore.  

[RiverSeal]

Hey @The-red-centaur, sorry you are feeling this way, and it sounds like a tough time. What do you think you can do to get through this evening? RiverSeal 

[The-red-centaur]

@RiverSeal i sent a message to my support worker and we had a chat. I'm just stressed and being sick makes me really moody. Not a great combo. 

[The-red-centaur]

I just called mental health emergency response line. They told me to ED, idk if I can. I can't do this rn. They didn't even try to talk. Idk what I need but hospital sounds like it will just make things worse. Gah. I hate how things are going but I feel like I have no control of it. 

Idk kinda can't deal. 

[AuntGlow]

Hello @The-red-centaur, thank you for sharing this with us. It really seems like you're needing someone to sit and listen, and to help you feel safe right now - is that right? 

It's an awful feeling not being listened to and feeling palmed off... I am sorry that you didn't feel heard.

Does it help at all to look at the things you can control in this moment?

Also, it's okay, you don't have to deal with this alone - we've got you. 💛