Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Anastasia]

Oh @Determined I'm so sorry 😔💔

[Smc]

Heaps of love @Determined. 😥

About the only thing I can tell you is that SH seems to often be a way of expressing hard to define pain... it hurts so much on the inside, but there's nothing to show for it or make it better; but a physical hurt has focus instead of being vague and therefore unable to be healed. You've probably got a handle on that via past experience with your Darling.

For most people, it's something that happens as a short term "coping" mechanism. As the internal pain gets resolved, or they learn better coping mechanisms, the urge to SH passes too. It's rare for it to become a chronic, long term issue like it has been with our Older Daughter. Hang in there, we'll keep praying for all of you. x

[tyme]

I'm so sorry to hear @Determined ! It must be so heart-breaking to see this. I'm sitting with you.

I have done a lot of work with youth, and unfortunately SH is now being seen in children earlier and earlier. 

If you don't mind me asking, do you think your child is doing it because others around them are doing it? Or do you think there is a deeper need? (please don't feel pressured to answer if you don't think you are able).

I hope your child gets the support they need. Does the school have a counsellor/psychologist available?

Sitting with you,

tyme

[Determined]

Thanks @Smc  appreciate the prayers.

This is a bit of a shock for (/with) S1 because he usually has different coping measures. Not necessarily healthy either, really trust and pray it is only a short term thing as he contemplates past and future choices. Managed to have a really healthy discussion with him tonight. Still a world of hurt to work through but a dialogue has started.

@tyme 

All of the above unfortunately 😪 

Definatly a deeper need but has been shown how to by 'friends' at school.

His mum has a history of harming herself which we try and shelter the children from but they know. Getting the how to from school and 'encouragement around 'how satisfying it is' has been the tipping point I believe. 

He has a good support network around him if he will only open up.  Trying to encourage him around healthy friend choices. In his mind there is not much to choose from so he has to take what he can get and does what he can to fit in 🥺

That is what has come out of tonight's discussion anyway. 

[tyme]

There's a lot to contend with there @Determined . I can see how peer pressure has played a part in this. 

As much as it hurts at the moment, I encourage you to focus on your own self-care tonight. I hope to be able to check-in with you tomorrow sometime.

Take care,

tyme

[Determined]

Weekend away, went ok but reminded why we don't do it often. Away from home anxiety all round 😕

S1 continues to be a concern,

Thought we had a bit of.a.break through but that was short lived.

He is really crying out for attention but already gets more attention than anyone.

So a case of finding a.means of communication that is more meaningful to him (that does not involve a screen). 

I am running on empty. 

[Determined]

Specialist appointment for S3 returned a positive report today. Obtuse receptionist triggered a major melt down for darling. Thankful my mum was there to support. 

Next round of MRI and oncology review later this week. Anxious about the MRI as the last one resulted in close to 3 months of intense pain (mussle spasms). Different approach this time but still anxious. 

Hoping intervals may be stretched out a bit if this round goes as well as expected. 

[Determined]

Well last round of MRI and oncology for S3 had to be postponed due to covid. 

I need to call this week to try and reschedule.

We have just survived a week of isolation

Managed that better than I expected. 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Determined 

How are you and your family going , hope you are OK 

And with all the rain 

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @Determined