Caring for Someone Living with Dementia

[mishyanne73]

That’s so cool, what a great idea. I don’t know much about dementia BUT I was watching this documentary where a music therapist went into a nursing home and the dementia patients responded AMAZINGLY! You should check it out, they had them dancing to their wedding songs and they even remembered all the words and some sang. Wishing you all the best with your loved ones. May God walk with you.

[BlueBay]

That's a great list @Shaz51 

@can I also add that at the beginning of MILs dementia hubby struggled a lot. He would argue with her instead of "going with the flow". So we arranged for a counsellor from Denentia Australia to visit us at hime. She explained that there are so many different types of dementia. Her talking to hubby and explaining this helped hubby a lot. 
so i would highly recommend contacting dementia Australia as they were fantastic. 

[TideisTurning]

I want to say first off that I hear and see how hard it is, both the impact of caring and of watching the effects of dementia 'overtake' (very aptly put @Former-Member 😊) a loved one over time. There's helplessness and hopelessness as well as a sense of grief about the loss of the person your loved one has been. It sucks. These are such heavy and challenging emotions to have to sit with and carry. My hope for this space is that those of you supporting or caring someone living with dementia or otherwise affected by dementia may find a sense of connection here and the invaluable 'yep, I really feel you' that can come from shared experiences.

Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed so far for being so open in sharing your experiences and supporting each other. 😊

@BlueBay, I wanted to thank you for the great testimonial about Dementia Australia. It is great to hear you and your hubby have found them to be so helpful! For anyone else who may be interested, you can find more information about Dementia Australia here. 

@Shaz51, thank you also for sharing that wonderful image about what not to say. I find it a little sad that it's been necessary for someone to actually write these down as explicit 'what not to say'... I especially like the last point about 'when you assume' though. That's something I learnt as a spelling rule early on and it's stuck with me ever since. Also, to my way of thinking, dementia (or any diagnosis for that matter) will look different on everyone. It's just as unique as the individual, as a few of you have highlighted. 

[Shaz51]

Hello @TideisTurning , @BlueBay , @mishyanne73 , @Former-Member , @cloudcore 

Yes I agree @TideisTurning , I do find it sad that you need a list on what not to say 

My aunty ( mum's sister) comes in for morning tea and she will argue,  etc 

And having visitors totally makes mum exhausted for the rest of the day now 

@Determined , @Smc , @Faith-and-Hope 

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member , @TideisTurning , @cloudcore , @Former-Member , not sure what to do BUT I do not want to support my mum anymore,  I am just Sooo over it , sorry 

[Shaz51]

Arggggggg @Former-Member 😟😥🤔

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51 I recall you talking about past struggles with your mum and dementia. Being a carer in this space for family is incredibly taxing physically and emotionally. Empathic pain is real. Expressing ideas about wanting something different makes complete sense, as it can be exhausting and relentless. I support what ever you need, whether that be respite, additional support or something else. You have given so much @Shaz51. I hear you and care about you in this journey.

There's a lovely quote by Kristen Neff that helps me in challenging times of caring. "Everyone is on their own journey. I am not the cause of this persons suffering, nor is it entirely with in my power to make it go away, even though I wish I could. Moments like these can be difficult to bear, yet I may sill try to help if I can".

[Former-Member]

I'm here @Shaz51.

[Shaz51]

Thanks you for sitting with me @Former-Member 

Just that mum promises that she will decrease her usage of sleeping tablets but at home she never does 

Our next appointment with the doctor fformore sleeping tablets is In February n it she is going to run out wayyyy before then xx 

[Former-Member]

Sometimes we need tenderness during these times, or sometimes it's fierceness to get through. I understand your journey as I am also supporting my mum with dementia. I want to validate how incredibly hard the ups and downs can be. Is there anything you need right now @Shaz51?