Topic Tuesday // "You don't have to be isolated as a carer" // Tues 26th October, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

[SA64]

@Pekingpandaz  I had a lot of time off of work while my daughter was really unwell, and her provider wrote a generic letter to my workplace, that I gave to HR and let my boss know about, and it just said that I would need time off to support my child who was unwell.  It didn't say anything else, and I didn't talk to anyone at work about my situation.  I felt this was private and I didn't want to talk about what my child was going through, as that would be unfair to her, I felt.  We are in a rural area, and people are not always quite about sensitive things, if you know what I  mean.

[Daisydreamer]

Hi @Corny,

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for your family's loss Isolation and loneliness, and it's true what you have mentioned that there are very few services to support young carers. When I was caring for a loved one as a young person, I know I found it hard to relate to my peers too.

Have you found support and community since the passing of your mum?

I'm hearing there are a few members here who have mentioned the difficulty accessing services in regional and rural areas @Shaz51 and @SA64

[BPDSurvivor]

@SA64 That's amazing to hear that peer support has played such a crucial role as part of your support network. 

@Shaz51 , do you know any supports that could you could network with so as you care for your mum?

[Determined]

How has peer support helped. 

Peer support (in sane forums) has been of significant for me. I'm not sure how I would have survived during a time of crisis without the support here. 

Being able to talk about emotions and not have to justify because people just understand.

And not have to qualify that I am not attacking my darling during that time when I was unravelling again because other carers already understand that. 

[Former-Member]

And to the point re. younger carers: Little Dreamers is a national service provider who support young people aged 4 - 25 care for family members affected by disability, illness or addiction. 

[SA64]

So we were able to set up a peer group, and we all had different experiences and perspectives, but we all had each other, and that was amazing.  Sharing our experiences helped us, but we knew one size does not fit all, and we knew sometimes there were no answers, but there was always empathy and camaraderie.

It was such a safe space to be able to share with others who understood, to speak about things you couldn’t with anyone else.  I found our monthly meetings gave me such support and energy to keep going.

As I had a distance to go to these meetings, as they were in the city, I had sked for an online group, however the others didn’t have an appetite for that.  And that was okay.  BUT I do think there is a place for online groups, as long as they are kept under control, like small groups from specific areas.  Some groups are so large, have members from around the world who have different support, procedures, and language around mental health.  So, if you are in Melbourne, you probably want to be talking to others who are close by who may be able to give you information about local supports, organisations, respite, etc.

[Daisydreamer]

That's a really good point @Shaz51 and sounds like you wear dual hats When I was caring for a partner, I remember walking this line of caring for him, but also trying to hold my boundary to be his partner.

I'd be curious to hear how you manage the dual hats and hold your roles of wife and not carer?

[Corny]

Thank you @Daisydreamer and @Former-Member yes, it was very hard to relate to people my own age, and to stay in touch as they couldn't understand my circumstances and I didn't have any friends with a disabled parent that needed a lot of my time and energy.

Yes, I have support because I actually have a mental illness of my own and I am on the NDIS for that. Thank for your kindness. 

[BPDSurvivor]

That's good good point you've raised @Corny  - such limited services for <18. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Corny]

Yes @BPDSurvivor in many social policy areas, children don't even get a mention. People often forget about the impacts on people under 18 years of age, thanks for your support, Corny