Topic Tuesday // "You don't have to be isolated as a carer" // Tues 26th October, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

[Former-Member]

Noticing, as well as living with, those changes is really tough @Shaz51 To know the person they were, to see that still there but slipping...is that something you can relate to too?

Did you mean not being classed as a carer by the government?

[Corny]

@SA64 

My Mum died in August, along with my 2 siblings we were her carers for our whole lives, Mum suffered from Schizophrenia her entire adult life.

The worst part was the isolation and loneliness. We did have age inappropriate responsibility which wasn't Mum's fault, living in regional NSW there were close to zero services. I made lots of sacrifices to care for Mum, that no one my age was doing. I really struggled to relate to my peers. But I loved my Mum deeply and was very protective of her. 

More needs to be done to help carers <18 years of age, we were invisible at the time and I doubt much has changed. Corny

[Pekingpandaz]

Hi everybody it's Daughter Has BPD and has kept it a secret @Pekingpandaz. I don't really know how to use these message boards still learning. But I think the toughest thing for me is, having happy to inside down in a matter of minutes. And I cannot just be over it in 10mins, like my daughter can. It takes me weeks to start feeling even a little better. So I just had to take over a week off from work and my managers know why. I have to go back tomorrow and I am feeling really embarrassed or ashamed or even other emotions in regards to others knowing about my situation and I am a bit scared. Just thought I would share some of my feelings tonight. 

[Daisydreamer]

Question 2: How has peer support and finding other carers helped support your wellbeing?

[BPDSurvivor]

@SA64 , makes sense.

I only read a research paper last night and it talks about the secondary conditions children with a disability often develop because of their disability in the first place. Hence, early intervention involves reducing the liklihood of these secondary conditions. 

This is a new area of development, so most likely, many have missed out on this support.

[SA64]

Question 2: How has peer support and finding other carers helped support your wellbeing?

Peer support has been a game changer for me.  And you really have to advocate for that support right from the start.  It’s something I learned and wish I’d realised right from the beginning.  It’s one of the first things I talk about when I meet people on this journey.

I really just felt so isolated and that’s what I talked about with my daughter’s therapists.  They had suggested counselling for me, which, yes, I did need, but I told them what I really needed was to talk to other carers with children with complex mental health issues, so we could know we were not alone.

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member yes the changes in mum like emotions  and anxiety and now I have to be the parent and mum is the child xxx

No I am a carer for my mum 

But my husband says I am not his carer , I am hos wife 

[BPDSurvivor]

Awww @Pekingpandaz . I hear you. I can relate to what you mean by your daughter being "over it in 10mins"....

[Former-Member]

@Corny Just reaching out to give a virtual hug, if that's ok? Losing your mum must have been really tough. How have you been going the past couple of months?

I agree that so much more needs to be done for careers under 18 – the struggle for someone who is learning to navigate young adulthood, along with caring for someone, is a lot to carry on young shoulders.

[Shaz51]

Hello my daughter @BPDSurvivor ❤❤

Ohh @Daisydreamer , @Former-Member , @SA64 , @Pekingpandaz 

The forum has helped me soo much so I can help my husband xxx