Topic Tuesday // What online peer support looks like // Tues 16th July, 7pm-9pm AEST

[Former-Member]

@Adge  Yes very interesting reflections, and thank you for sharing that it has a "hollow" effect. I reckon that is a common one.. I have heard some people draw a comparison to pity in regards to sympathy. Understandable.

@Former-Member Hearing you. Why do you think empathy isn't helpful for you?

[CheerBear]

For me empathy is kind of like all the values we discussed earlier put together. It's a sense of being accepted as I am in that moment, with respect, compassion and sensitivity. It helps me feel like I'm not alone and that I'm understood, and it gives me a feeling of connection with myself and others.

It feels hugely powerful to me for those reasons.

[eth]

@Former-Member  'empathy' has been my favourite word since I first learned its meaning, some 40 years ago!  To me it's the ability to 'project oneself fully into another's experience' and thus share their feelings and truly sit with them in an equal way - share a fellowship with them, as opposed to 'sympathy' which is somehow looking from outside the situation with pity and commiseration.

Found this :  "

What are the 3 types of empathy?

In fact, empathy also comes from a German word, Einfühlung, meaning “feeling in.” And just as there are many ways to feel; there are multiple ways to experienceempathy. The three forms of empathy that psychologists have defined are: Cognitive, Emotional, and Compassionate.

The Three Kinds of Empathy: Emotional, Cognitive, Compassionate

https://blog.heartmanity.com/the-three-kinds-of-empathy-emotional-cognitive-compassi..."

[Faith-and-Hope]

Agreed, re the Support button @Adge , especially if I have no real experience in what the person who posted is struggling with.  The Support button is a quiet way to add in an “I hear you” even if you don’t know what to say.

I think a lot of people within our society rush forward with opinions, preconceived ideas, what they believe are ready solutions, or judgements and “you should’s“.  I think a lot of the powerfulness In Brene Brown’s research and support materials is in getting to the core of emotional health, and what is commonly being identified as “emotional intelligence”.  For whatever (many) reasons, this sort of understanding and education has been left behind in our society, but there is no time like the present to start learning.

[Former-Member]

Because I don't need it, and as I mentioned earlier in the thread, I don't appreciate being pushed into connections or attachments, it takes away from my nature and to me it is an expectation/condition thrown on top of me by society and others as opposed to something I choose of my own volition. 

To me, it also subtracts from my experience as an individual to have someone tell me they understand. I don't like it, it comes across as fake and phoney and I don't appreciate emotionality being added to my contributions unless I add them. 

[Adge]

Oh no, we're all out of time @Former-Member

I bet it's time to wrap it all up, & say goodbye...

Adge

[Former-Member]

This is an awesome link @eth ! Thank you.

[Former-Member]

Totally incorporates a lot of the notions we touched on earlier doesnt it? @CheerBear  Feeling connected and understood is one of the key outcomes of empathy!

You're right @Adge it is wrap up time, thanks for the heads up hehe 🙂 

[Former-Member]

Hearing you @Former-Member  and thank you for sharing. It is important to feel there's congruence when engaging with others, so I can understand your frustrations around the "fakeness"

[Former-Member]

Alright everyone we are out of time this evening 🙂 But as mentioned at the start of the thread we will be doing a part two of this topic toward end of year So keep an eye out!

Thank you all for contributing it's been really awesome and I know for me especially I have taken away a lot to mull over.

We're going to leave this thread open until tomorow morning for you all to debrief in Thanks all, goodnight!