Topic Tuesday // What online peer support looks like // Tues 16th July, 7pm-9pm AEST

[Adge]

The very same affirmations, that I offer to other people (when hopefully helpful) @Former-Member

1) I can relate to your experience (or I've had similar experiences).

2) I have felt that way too.

3) I hear you, & I appreciate your honesty - even though I don't know what to say (that would help).

4) I have read your post (by pushing the Support Button) - I am unable to say anything more to help, at the moment.

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[MDT]

pretty much @Former-Member

it can be hard to see progress in our own lives so it's important that if someone tells us good things that they can back it up with proof - lest we start to doubt ourselves

[Former-Member]

Agreed @Faith-and-Hope  Also find this very comforting. Thank you.

[eth]

I agree @Faith-and-Hope 

[CheerBear]

I find gentle reminders that I've been in tough places before and made it through, can be helpful at times. It kind of prompts me think about what's helped before as well.

I'm with you with backing up broad statements being helpful @MDT. Remembering or pointing out things that are meaningful to me can feel good.

[Adge]

My work is very emotionally draining - sometimes I am physically injured by clients (at work).

I have some challenging physical illnesses, & daily fatigue (resulting).

So at the end of the day (when coming onto the forums) - there is often no energy left for me to give.

So a few short words, straight to the point - or a Support (Like) Button is giving as much as is humanly possible.

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[Former-Member]

Loving the input tonight everyone. So amazing.

The last question tonight is in relation to the video @s-jay linked at the very beginning of the thread.

Did you watch the above video on empathy & sympathy? In your own words, or from your own experience what makes empathy so impactful?

[Former-Member]

@Adge  You do deal with a lot in your role No doubt you just need to completely wind down after those stressors. The support button (to me at least) is still a very valid and valuable way of letting someone know we're sitting with them.

[Former-Member]

No, I didn't, because I don't find empathy helpful at all. 

[Adge]

Because empathy feels like someone is sharing your experience with you (companionship) @Former-Member

They don't have to feel that same way right now - they're tapping into their memories of having had similar experiences.

Whereas sympathy feels like someone is "Lording it over you". "I know better than you", "I have the answers" (& you don't), etc.

In fact sympathy feels (or seems) patronising & insulting (to me) - it comes across as hollow & empty (meaningless).

Adge