Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

[greenpea]

@Former-Member  thanks girasole I will try all depends upon son2 lol 😄

[Cathyblueknot]

Question 6: Family members and friends may experience second-hand trauma in their supporting role. Or, there may be households where many family members are living with their own personal experience of trauma.

What support is available for supporters who may also be living with a personal experience of trauma?

Supporting a person who have experiences of trauma can be inspiring as well as challenging. It can also be a long process of recovery and so it is critical that family and friends look after themselves as well.

Just as survivors can feel alone in the process so family and friends can feel alone as well. It is important to reach out and find information and support. It is also quite possible given how common trauma is that families and friends will have their own trauma experiences. It is important to monitor your own stress levels, levels of arousal – agitated or shut down and use grounding, breathing, self-soothing techniques to settle yourself as well.

It is very important to look after yourself – do all the things you can to stay well and healthy, and the things you enjoy as well. It is important to take time out and be as compassionate with yourself as you are with the person you are supporting.

https://www.blueknot.org.au/Survivors-Supporters/Supporters

[Shaz51]

hello @Daisydreamer , @Cathyblueknot , @Former-Member 

back again 

had dinner 

not a good night for my mr shaz 

[Former-Member]

I’ve learned the hard way myself that it’s critical you look after your own wellbeing as a carer of someone with CPTSD, especially given my own experiences of trauma. Vicarious trauma is very real. Some helpful things I find include creating boundaries, taking some time off, and connecting with professional support.

[Daisydreamer]

@Malinka that's a tough situation, balancing between wanting to be a supportive and being there for your family, but also looking after your mental wellbeing. Putting the theory in practice all the time is hard, especially when it is someone you love. Does he have a support network he can also lean on?

In two days time we have a peer support group online that talks about interpersonal boundaries and will discuss things like you have mentioned here if you are interested💙

[UTLAU]

it isn't mental illness that is evil ... it is the way it is treated ... or not treated. the general population do not understand, and not do a lot of medical proffessionals ... both those groups need to be educated.

[Daisydreamer]

Hugs @Shaz51 100% okay if you need to come and go from the chat

[Daisydreamer]

Blue Knot has some brilliant resources to support friends, families and carers who are caring for loved ones, but also to look after ourselves.

Personally, I have used the Blue Knot Help Line before when supporting a loved one, and it really helped me to understand how I could support them, and look after myself too. (Important to note this is 9am-5pm, 7 days a week)

Our last question here tonight before we jump across to the Lived Experience Forum. I encourage everyone following along to add your thoughts to this question too.

Question 7: What are three top tips you have for supporting a friend, family member or loved one who is a survivor of trauma?

[Last-Lament]

Hi all.

Just managed to catch up with things now. Late getting here due to time differences I didn't think of. 

@Cathyblueknot @Daisydreamer wondering if you think actual recovery is possible after long term repeated traumas. 

the loop just seems to keep looping for me. 

[Cathyblueknot]

Question 7: What are three top tips you have for supporting a friend, family member or loved one who is a survivor of trauma?

1. Know that recovery is absolutely possible and that even at times when things feel very grim, to hold onto the hope that things will improve and hold that hope not only for yourself but for the person you are supporting.

2. Find out as much as you can about how trauma can affect people, to enable you to understand the person you are supporting’s reactions to enable you to remain empathic and understanding, and not take things personally when the going gets tough.

3. Stay well and healthy. Check in with yourself regularly. Reach out and get support. Take time out when you need to. Be compassionate with you.