Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

[Shaz51]

they are really great hints @Zoe7 

[Odette]

@Smc @utopia I find I want to help others more than myself, but I think that it's actually not for selfless reasons; rather it's me avoiding having to deal with my own issues by focusing on someone else's.  Denial.

Note that I'm only talking about my own situation when I say helping others is not for selfless reasons, not talking about anyone else's motivations here.

[Spookytookims]

It's all very serenity prayer.... 

@NikNik  and anyone   - it's all about knowing when to act, knowing when to accept and understanding the difference.

   

[soul]

@Spookytookims - that's a big ask.

[Former-Member]

I have a question that I would like some honest answers from. How do you turn off or away when someone is 'drowning' on the forum. Many of us find crisis lines often fail us. How do you work out how to switch off from posts of people in distress? 

[NikNik]

There has been a lot of tips on how to show support online while maintaining boundaries.

Does anyone have any tips for the offline world?

Some that come to mind for me are:

• Be transparent – most people will understand. Empathize with them and validate what they are going through is tough, but let them know you’re going through some stuff too and suggest a better way to engage for the time being (ie: reconnect in a few days, watch a movie together, distract)

• Assist the person on where to seek help, rather than go into a discussion about the issue itself. This is helpful if you feel obligated to this person. Advising and encouraging them to seek help through specific organisations / professionals will be helpful to them and you.

• Don’t respond to the call / email / post straight away. Respond in your own time.

Any other offline tips - particularly for those who live with the person they support?

[utopia]

It is sometimes easier to respond to a 'new members' issue - than a friends issue. BecauseiI'm removed from the situation it is easier to be logical and not overly emotional to a post.
I think as I get to know more about a friend on the forum - the harder it is not to absorb some of the emotion of their situation.

[Nevyn134]

@Smc It is most frustrating when they won't or can't even give advice on what to do when you tell them whats going on at home and they just tell you to bring them in if it happens again. Sending my housemate/boyfriend home with little to no support but me. Even after I have told them many times i am at my limit and if he doesn't get more help soon, help will no longer be needed by his own action.

[Spookytookims]

@soul  yes it certainly is.   Lifelong journey probably.

[Nevyn134]

Smc It is most frustrating when they won't or can't even give advice on what to do when you tell them whats going on at home and they just tell you to bring them in if it happens again. Sending my housemate/boyfriend home with little to no support but me. Even after I have told them many times i am at my limit and if he doesn't get more help soon, help will no longer be needed by his own action.