Topic Tuesday // PTSD & Post Traumatic Growth // Tues 20 Feb, 7pm AEDT

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member I don't see it necessarily as experienceing the pain of others but as helping them to express how they feel - we can internalise their pain ut can also relate their pain to our own experiences and that shows them we have some understanding of what they are dealing with. Through this we often need to put aside our own feelings at the time to help out someone else and that can be a positive for our own growth.

[CheerBear]

@Former-Member - I think there's a difference between experiencing someone's pain and standing alongside them through it. For me, sitting with people here and having people here sit with me, fuels connection. It's being vulnerable and 'real' and having that be ok - something that so often seems not ok. There's potential for mutual growth in that I believe.

[Former-Member]

I hear what you're saying @Former-Member but for now I think I shall disagree. (I'm going through some retraumatisation of my own in recent times and might not be in the right headspace to fully comprehend all of that.)

Altruism, to me, does not exist, we do whatever we do because, bottom line, it is for us to feel better about something. 

[Former-Member]

Yes @Adge, mutual growth is absolutely the goal and ideal for a peer support forum such as this.  And we are fortunate enough to get glimpses of it in action while we moderate.

[BlueBay]

Sorry @CheerBear I don't understand.

Fom my experience @BlueBay, the stories we tell about ourselves (which so often come from the stories we hear or see others tell about us or the stories we are asked/conditioned to tell about ourselves) make a huge difference.

The stories I have said are my stories of my childhood sexual abuse. There not stories that I have heard from others.

I think i have got this wrong completely!!!

[Former-Member]

Yeah @CheerBear @Former-Member I understand that, I think my headspace is affecting my own perseptions here. I can sit with people and not expect anything and just 'be' with them. That's okay.

I think I'm combining different issues. Sorry.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member I think perhaps the issue I have with this idea of PTG is that it kind-of places an expectation on people that they should somehow reframe their muddles in an unrealistically positive light. I think for me it triggers thoughts of cliches such as "what doesn't k*ll us makes us stronger." It also super annoys the heck out of me when people tell me I'm resilient. It seems to me that this is one of those fluffy terms that is thrown around and I find it super invalidating. 

[Former-Member]

Whether altruism really exists is one of my favourite debates @Former-Member!  It's kind of unfortunate that all the research stacks up so highly in favour of the helper rather than the helpee.  Maybe we can just think of it in terms of kindness paying off for everyone involved.

[Former-Member]

Hi, I missed it 😞 will read up tomorrow.

[CheerBear]

Sorry if I caused you confusion @BlueBay. That must be really hard to have to retell those stories often 😞 I think the stories of survival and how we survive what we've experienced, matter and there's a place for them to be told also. I'm not sure if that makes sense, and apologies if it doesn't.