Topic Tuesday // OCD: Behind The Mask // Tues 13th April, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

[Former-Member]

Hi, Anu glad to meet you, it looks like you have had quite a journey, I look forward to reading your insight

[Daisydreamer]

We are really looking forward to learning more about you Anu! @ARCVic 🙂 

Question 2: You mentioned personal lived experience, would you be comfortable to share a bit more about your journey?

[ARCVic]

Question 2: You mentioned personal lived experience, would you be comfortable to share a bit more about your journey? 

For as long as I remember I have been a very anxious person – even as a kid. But I distinctly remember it starting to significantly impact my day-to-day functioning back when I was in year 4 (2000). It was the same year that my family migrated to Australia from India.

Whilst I was always anxious, after years of therapy I have come to realise that my anxiety and OCD was the result of childhood trauma which happened back in India when I was in primary school - at school. But my anxiety was still dormant until year 4 when it showed itself as generalised anxiety.

In year 4 it was still manageable – my parents weren’t aware but when I look back I could sense that it was starting to come to the surface.

[Eve7]

I’m here @NatureLover 

[ARCVic]

When I started High School was the start of my OCD. My intrusive thoughts, obsessions and compulsions were all centred around needing to be the best student and my biggest fear was to not get in trouble with teachers and authority figures. I did everything in my control to ensure that I NEVER got into trouble. I was a very good student and for this reason my anxiety went unnoticed because people on the outside (including my parents) thought I was just a really good student. Little did they know that my anxiety and OCD was bubbling away underneath behind the mask.

Even though I would complete all allocated homework everynight. My mind would constantly tell me that I haven’t. Eventhough I would ensure I had all the correct uniform layed out for the next day – my mind would tell me that I hadn’t. Even though, at the end of each school day I had placed all the right books in my bag for the homework – my mind would constantly tell me that I hadn’t.

This lead me to constantly check, check and re-check my locker, diary, computer and uniform numerous times a day and night. To the point where I would miss my bus because I would constantly check my locker to ensure that I had the right books for the homework that night.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Eve7! Great to have you here 😊

[ARCVic]

At university, as I grew older and became more aware about what I was going through my OCD evolved into Panic Disorder. The OCD however would still be there simmering away in the background.

At the moment my anxiety is very much managed by multiple things. I have learned to not feed into my thoughts – which by the way took a lot of hard work and self-reflection.

[NatureLover]

Really lovely to see you, @Eve7  

I am sorry to read about your childhood trauma, Anu. 😞 I also have that. 

[Clawde]

Why was this different to most people..?

[Daisydreamer]

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@ARCVic wrote:

Question 2: You mentioned personal lived experience, would you be comfortable to share a bit more about your journey? 

For as long as I remember I have been a very anxious person – even as a kid. But I distinctly remember it starting to significantly impact my day-to-day functioning back when I was in year 4 (2000). It was the same year that my family migrated to Australia from India.

Whilst I was always anxious, after years of therapy I have come to realise that my anxiety and OCD was the result of childhood trauma which happened back in India when I was in primary school - at school. But my anxiety was still dormant until year 4 when it showed itself as generalised anxiety.

In year 4 it was still manageable – my parents weren’t aware but when I look back I could sense that it was starting to come to the surface.

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Isn't it interesting looking back to see how long we have experienced anxiety, even before having words to put to it, and before a diagnosis. It sounds like this is something that started at a really young age. Similar to you, I can remember my first experience of generalised anxiety at the age of 5 💙

It sounds like you have done a lot of work to understand where things orignated form. I am so sorry to hear the trauma you have been through