Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51 - i definitely tend to be underemotive.. at least on the outside i will look very blank and not very expressive but i can be screaming on the inside and feel like im going to burst. I rarely cry. I also rarely get angry. I find it very hard to work out what to say/how to say things verbally without enough time to do so. then later i can write it out quickly... drives me a bit crazy...

[Phoenix_Rising]

How do you encourage someone to seek help? I'm not sure I have anything to say for that one. I've been trying to get help for the past twenty years and help has not been forthcoming. I would do anything in the world to find someone who is willing and able to help me.

[glitterbee]

@Determined I'm glad my explanation interested you.
Manipulation can definitely be hard. I know my husband finds it challenging at times.
I definitely believe that most people with BPD aren't going out of their way to hurt others, and as you said, they're often trying to control their environments to be safe.
But I'm really glad that you're aware of this dynamic because while the manipulation is understandable, it can also hurt others, so it's important to keep an open conversation about this possibility and talk about ways you can work together to create that safety for your wife without you being on the other end of manipulation.

[glitterbee]

@Former-Member I'm similar! I can often write with no issue at all, but when it comes to expressing it verbally and through emotion it takes me a lot of time and effort.

[BPD-Cinderella]

It wasn't until I learned a sort of script to help with verbal expression that I was able to communicate effectively with my loved ones.

'When you do *action* it makes me feel like *emotion*, I don't think you're doing this on purpose or to make me feel like *emotion* which is why I'm coming to you to speak about it so we can work together to come to a solution.

I've used it in a lot of situations to help explain myself in an effective way, so that I can get my point across without emotions running high.

[lolamay]

@Former-Member - do you have comorbid depression? I find that I'm not as outwardly "wild" as the "typical" presentation and I think it may be because I am also depressed. I have ALL the emotions on the inside though.

[NikNik]

Thanks everyone for your responses so far. They are all really good insights!

Next question:

Is there a way to explain BPD without people getting confused, scared, or mixing it up with bipolar?

[Former-Member]

yes @lolamay - i have major depressive dis... and ptsd

[Owlunar]

Thanks @glitterbee

I have had a lot of help to recover from my son's death - I will never fully get over it

Reading what you have written has given me a great deal of insight into what his inner life might have been - 

And I have had so much support from this forum - it is the most helpful placeI have ever found

Also - a lot of what other people have written here applies to him to - I feel a lot of what upset him so much was because he was adopted 

I am wondering how many other people here were adopted - being put out for adoption must be devastating and I can understand how many people would not get over the abandonment of adoption

Dec

[Shaz51]

thank you @Former-Member, that is how mr shaz reacts xx