Topic Tuesday // Grief and Loss // Tues 3rd August, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

[Former-Member]

Through my experiences of loss, I developed an a real understanding that life is short and it emphasised to me that I really want to make the most of my life. I also started practicing gratitude every day which helps me appreciate every day.

[Shaz51]

That is soo true @Daisydreamer , it happened to me and I could not attend , it feels like she is not really  gone to me 

[Zoe7]

It certainly has @Daisydreamer There was a memorial service in his home town later (which I attended) but his sister was delayed in her state and never made it and I didn't know anyone else there - it was also on my 50th birthday - so nothing was right about the day - just made it harder.

[Eve7]

I don't know how to define either grief or loss. I just know they suck. My husband died, then 10 days later my Dad died. In that same year I also lost 2 Aunts which meant my mother, especially just went from one funeral to another.

The hardest thing about losing H was that he was the only person on this planet who knew what it was like to lose our baby girl.

I don't believe you ever really heal but there comes a time when you don't cry every day and occasionally there are some good moments.

Those who remember Port Arthur may recall the look of grief on Walter Mikac but even from that most horrible of days he recently told Anh Do that he knew he would find happiness again.

[Owlunar]

I understand @Zoe7 

I have had trouble forgiving my cousin for his death - suicide. We emailed and for some reason my emails bounced. He could have told me how he felt - he didn't - 

I'm not angry - I just have trouble coming to terms with what he did

It is really hard when someone suddenly died - there is no way to say goodbye as I was able to do with my father - this is so important - that can be the most important conversation we have.

[amandaGL]

Hi @ShiningStar  I am really sorry to hear that you feel those living with mental health issues are not fully supported in their grief and loss experience.   Please feel free to reach out to our Helpline as our volunteer counsellors are so empathetic and non-judgemental - even just for a chat. 

[Daisydreamer]

@amandaGL Question 3: What are some of the common experiences of grief?

For our community, what have been some of the physical experiences and emotional experiences of grief?

[amandaGL]

@amandaGL Question 3: What are some of the common experiences of grief?

Grief impacts us on a biopsychosocial level.  Biologically we can experience it in many, sometimes frightening ways; heart racing, shortness of breath, nausea, sleeplessness, lethargy, changes to our appetite, lack of focus…even physical pain.   

Psychologically, people often describe it as being on a rollercoaster of emotions; shock, overwhelm, confusion, helplessness, despair, guilt, rage, denial, depression, restlessness …and sometimes relief.  

Socially we may become withdrawn and isolated, start avoiding people and places, change our faith and alter our beliefs or start obsessing over what we have lost.

Most people are surprisingly resilient even after the death of a loved one.  Returning to a state of equilibrium within a few months of the death (though they may always carry the grief with them).  

However, around 10% of people find the grief continues to be debilitating for more than a year after the loss, posing significant risks to long-term physical and mental health.  This is complicated grief which often occurs after a traumatic loss such as a violent, sudden or protracted illness (sometimes also resulting in PTSD).

[Owlunar]

Losing decades of your life to depression is a real reason for grief @Arizona 

We grieve for things - people - life itself is so precious - losing so much of your life to depression is a serious loss

I am glad you are here - if you can't share perhaps you can read - I hope so

[Adge]

Yes, I've experienced Grief & Loss many times - Too many times to count.

The Loss of my Dad 5 & 1/2 years ago, from Cancer - Was one of the Toughest.

Comments made to me at that time eg "You will always have your memories of your Dad" really hurt - Because "No I don't"...

Having had Long-Term Trauma (resulting Complex PTSD) during my entire Childhood & early adulthood - I have Generalised Amnesia.

So I have virtually No Memories of my Dad to Draw upon....

Just my last brief Phone Conversation with him.

I lost my Job last year, directly due to Covid - I have not been able to Obtain Employment, since then - That is a Big Loss, & Cause for Grief....

Adge