Topic Tuesday // Forming Habits // 17 Jan. 7pm AEDT

[Former-Member]

Very adventurous @Drdoolittle.  Beats dinner and a movie

[Former-Member]

Really not wanting to take over this discussion but these are things that are very much part of my recovery at the moment. I have lots of short term goals but I guess I'm not creating new habits with them where I should be. All of my mental health support is goal focused but I haven't created any of the habits yet and I REALLY need to. 

So my question is how many habits should you work on creating at once? 

Im also a bit confused with having others help keep you accountable. This is what I would love to happen but keep getting told messages that I need to learn to do all things by myself because of my diagnosis which leaves me feeling almost paranoid sometimes. 

I did just read the blog and it makes lots of sense. I just can't get my head around what is reasonable steps for accountability but I guess this is my problem to sort. Sorry for being too intense 🤔😬

[Former-Member]

I'm sorry I haven't read any of the previous posts - only just got home.
But in hospital we were taught about SMART goals and I set a few for myself. I'd heard about SMART goals a few times before and it never really clicked, but this time it has. Hoping I meet my first round of goals in a few months!

[BlueBay]

@Former-Member

I would like to lose weight and be fit.  I have all good intentions, even started with a personal trainer a few months ago.  Did one session and because of finances had to stop. Then I got angry with myself for beginning and not continuing.

SMART goals I have heard before @Former-Member.  I think I need really small goals. Like two weeks ago I had a mental health tool kit for sh.  But yet again I didn't go to my tool kit did I? It is bad behaviour or learned behavoiur from a child. I know I am really hard on myself.

OK, so let's say I say to myself "ok i am going to walk 4 times this week for 30 mins".  But what if I don't walk 4 times and only walk twice - that to me is failure. Black and white thinking. (Does that make sense)

[Former-Member]

Great questions @Former-Member.  The accountability aspect (making your goals public and reporting on your progress) doesn't work for everyone so that may not be a strategy you use.  At least not at this point.   You can succeed without this type of motivation but for some it gives them the extra kick they need.

I'd really recommend only working one creating one new habit at a time or a maximum of two if you feel very motivated.  But make it an important one that will really lift your confidence when you crack it.  So a new habit relating to sleep, eating or exercise is a good place to start.  But not all at once! 

If sugar is a big thing for you, could you restrict it to weekends? That's what I'm doing right now.  And maybe keep track of the days you did and didn't eat sugar so you have a visual record of how you're going.

And bear in mind that progress (or recovery for that matter) isn't linear.  You'll get it right some weeks and wrong others.  But you're looking at creating an overall trend of improvement.

[Former-Member]

@BlueBay, some of my goals are very very small like doing exercise every day.
But I count a walk around the block as 'exercise'. I figure if I walk around the block every day for 2 months, I can walk twice around the block every day for another two months. etc. etc.

[Former-Member]

Good tip @Former-Member.  Thanks for joining us.  Can you unpack the SMART bit for us? Blowed if I can ever remember what every letter stands for.  If it feels okay, an example of one could be really helpful too.

[Former-Member]

Specific

Measurable

Achieveable

Realistic

Time

So your goal has to be the top 4, with a specific time component to it. 

I want to go on a long hike at the end of the year, but I'm really unfit. So my first SMART goal is to "exercise" every day for 2 months. But I count putting on my gym clothes and walking 500m as exercise. 

My aim is just to get back into the habit of "doing" something every day. And at this stage I don't care how little, just as long as I make the effort to try. 

[Former-Member]

Thank you @BlueBay of reminding me of a really important point here.  Absolute thinking (all or nothing - I've succeeded or failed with nowt in between) is the enemy of good habit formation.  It encourages us to throw away all our progress and give up.  To decide to give up on today (I'll start again on Monday) and then lose all the days in between.

Can you work on beiing more flexible and realistic with your goals?  If exercise is important, do you have a step counter @BlueBay?  They've been proven to make a real difference to the amount of activity people do.  And the best bit is that you can set an overall goal for the week which takes the pressure off each day.  So if your goal is 70,000 steps you might do lots one day, less another but still meet your goal.  If another member of your family also has one you can create some friendly rivalry.

I suspect @BlueBay that you've got some underlying self-worth issues that sometimes derail you.  Good health/positive habits are a gift we give ourselves but we need to already value ourselves to feel worthy of the gift.  Have you taken this one into therapy?  It might be worth chewing over to find a new angle.

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Former-Member.  'Just doing something everyday' is a brilliant strategy as it's easier to start 'something' than a pre-determined amount of exercise you may not feel up to.  I reckon you're going to succeed.