Topic Tuesday // Forming Habits // 17 Jan. 7pm AEDT

[Former-Member]

Another thing to consider is that we really need to base resolutions and habits on self-knowledge.  I lost count of the number of years I kept expecting myself to get up early and exercise.  I'm a night-owl/problem sleeper so this was always doomed to failure.  But still, I thought that was the only way.  By finally linking exercise to an unavoidable commute, that doesn't require setting the alarm clock earlier, I've got moving regularly. 

So don't set yourself up to fail by working against fairly fundamental aspects of yourself.  Anyone else fallen into this trap?

[Shaz51]

Hello @Former-Member

My hubby said -- Where are we  at with resolutions-- he said cutting back on work

[Former-Member]

Sounds very promising @Drdoolittle!  It's always easier doing things with others so that was a very smart tactic.  This year might just be your year 🙂

[Drdoolittle]

yep, brilliant. Im bad at the whole exercise thing unless its for 'fun' or purpose, so now Im up at 5am on my bike at 5.15 am and get to work at ten to 6. I enjoy it even though its tiring. My idea of exercising at a gym has many times been doomed to fail.

[Former-Member]

That work one is always a bit up and down for you @Shaz51 from what I can tell.  It's really hard when you're self-employed to keep it under control.  Do you have a very clear idea of just how much work you want to take on? How much is too much?

Clear goals and a strategy for knocking back additional work would be essential I would have thought.  Are they in place?   

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member
I always fall into that trap and I hate it and get really angry with myself. I'm trying setting small goals but it's not working. Any suggestions pls.

[Shaz51]

We have said no to a lot of new jobs @Former-Member

 finding that right balance is a bit hard , and also being there to help our mums

we are getting there , but hubby now wants to cut it back futher

[Former-Member]

One thing that really interested me from my research is that rewards don't really work when it comes to forming new habits.  That's a bit counter-intuitive.  You'd think that giving yourself a reward for not smoking or hitting a saving goal would keep you motivated.  But it seems to work the opposite way.  We need to be motivated by the habit itself if we want to keep at it.  External rewards sometimes only serve to weaken the habit.  

Same with time-frames.  if we set one - I'm giving up sugar for lent - we do so in the hope that it'll stick afterwards.  But we tend to fall off the wagon once lent is over.  The research seems to indicate that we're better to avoid a time-frame.  Just focus on today.

[Drdoolittle]

Heres hoping. Nice man wants to take me paddle boarding and skiing, blimy!

[Former-Member]

Hi @BlueBay 🙂

Can you give me an example of a new habit you'd like to form?  Maybe we can work out a strategy.  It's really important to look at what's gone wrong in the past too. We tend to keep trying to same approaches and failing in the same way.  And that might be because you're trying to do something that's not really aligned to your personality or values.