Topic Tuesday // Caring for men who don't care about themselves // 27 June, 7pm AEST

[Shaz51]

Hello @Former-Member, @NikNik

 my husband ( mr shaz ) doesn't want to get involved in his mental health, cancelling all support and help of any kind , I do everything to make life easier  

[NikNik]

A big welcome to you all! There's some new faces and familiar ones around the place tonight, so I'm looking forward to this session.

I thought I would start by sharing a framework that may be helpful to identify and make sense of where your loved one is at in terms of taking a step towards seeking help. 

The Stages of Change Framework (Prochaska and DiClemente) helps us understand where a loved one may be in their readiness to identify that something isn’t right and seek help. This framework is commonly connected to addiction (gambling, drug and alcohol etc) but can also be transferred across to other mental health challenges.

Has anyone seen this before? @Faith-and-Hope I think I've heard a bit about it from you.

[Sissy88]

My father has Asperger's syndrome and never wants to get involved in anything that doesn't interest or overwhelms him. My brothers have all followed suit so everything gets left to who ever wants the responsibility and then blamed when things don't work out

[Faith-and-Hope]

My husband has a well-hidden complex eating disorder and is still in complete denial, and hostile to any mention of it. On the Carer's forum @Former-Member posted a link for information about Anosognosia that was very informative and poignant, but it still doesn't give any answers about how to get past this walk of invisibility to enable treatment.

I understand the wall. The eating disorder is the foundation of his life, and I am afraid he will completely fall apart when eventually it is made known to him that it is an illness, not a superior achievement ....,,

He was recently diagnosed as ocpd by our son's psychiatrist, but aside from recommending family counselling, where I can't speak up in front of my husband without much more support than blind-siding the therapist and my husband with an unanticipated intervention, my husband has not been offered any support along with this diagnosis.

It's all very nerve-wracking trying to negotiate these circumstances.

[NikNik]

That's tough @Sissy88 Sounds like a lot of pressure!
Hopefully some of the things we touch on tonight will be helpful.
Welcome to the discussion!

[NikNik]

Did anyone want to share where they feel like their loved one sits within the Stages of Change?

[Sissy88]

Mine sits below 1 because they don't want to acknowledge anything let alone admit that there may be a problem, that would be considered me 'causing trouble'

[Maggs52]

1

[Shaz51]

Mr shaz hates making decission , he hates changes , so when people say he needs to do this or he needs to do that he get overwhelmed with it all and he will flight instead of fight @NikNik, @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, great to have you here with us tonight.

I can hear from everyone that the desire to want to help our loved ones becomes very challenging when it's not on their radar to take that step towards support and possible treatment. I hope tonight's discussion can help you all in some way.