Peer Group Chat// Break-Up Blues // Thursday 5th September 2024, 7-8:30PM AEST

[Oaktree]

@tyme 

Sorry I can’t make it tonight as we are having people over for dinner from Church. We are having Roast lamb and veggies with gravy.

[Glisten]

Sorry @tyme I’m going to tapout on this topic. Still love PGC 🤗 G

[tyme]

Super chat tonight! Thanks for your contributions. @monket @Shaz51 @Wildflower @WildFlower1 @Macqua @Glisten @Alonely @Oaktree @Healandlove @cam @Ainjoule @GreyWolf7 

Here are tonight's questions and resources:

Q1: What can you define as a ‘break-up’? Between who?

Q2: How can a break-up affect a person?

Q3: Are there any potential benefits of a break-up?

Q4: Can you think of some symptoms of Break-Up Blues?

Q5: What might be helpful when navigating a break-up?

Q6: How can you know when it’s more than just ‘Break-Up Blues’ and you need professional help?

Q7: Next time you or someone experiences the Break-Up Blues, what is something you/they can try?

Here are some further resources we recommend having a look at:  1 Surviving a relationship break-up (20 strategies): https://www.mcgill.ca/counselling/files/counselling/surviving_a_break-up_-_20_strategies_0.pdf  2 ReachOut – How to cope with a breakup:  https://au.reachout.com/relationships/romantic-relationships/coping-with-a-breakup  3 Coping with a family breakup:  https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/coping-with-divorce-or-breakup

From this conversation tonight, we really wanted to also open up a discussion about the loss of a therapist or a break-up from a therapeutic relationship.

What have been your experiences?

How did you manage?

What are some hinters you can give to someone going through something similar?

[Captain24]

I broke up with my psych. While it was definitely for the best it was really stressful having to tell her I won’t be seeing her anymore. She has sent me a text since but I ignored it. It was a relief that I did it as it wasn’t healthy for me. But I had a major stress episode afterwards where the nurses in here considered sending me to hospital

[tyme]

Thanks for sharing @Captain24 .

So is this why you have the new psych?

I hope it works out for you. I can imagine the guilt that may have been felt after you told her you'd stop seeing her. However, i'm glad to hear it was for the best.

[Glisten]

@tyme my only experience has been narcopaths. Missed a “bullet” twice.

Unfortunately the last one got me.

A normal relationship would be nice.

G

[Captain24]

It is why I got a new psych. @tyme. I discovered that being called stupid and selfish wasn’t the right way to treat a patient. So my new psych is a facilitator here. She was amazing in group and the one on one time she spent with me.

[tyme]

Sorry to hear @Glisten . Must have been hard to navigate these 'relationships'...

Really shows your resilience.

[tyme]

I'm so so so sorry this happened to you @Captain24 . You deserve so much better. I'm glad you made the decision to move on. 

[GreyWolf7]

Interesting questions tonight. I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I've been stuck with work. But some quick thoughts on "break ups" as a distraction from the work thing. 😉 They're inevitable in life and can happen with all sorts of people - from family, to friends, to partners and even therapists. They can be devastating at the time, but I do believe time heals wounds - though it can take a lot of time to get over the break up blues. Invariably we learn something from the experience, about ourselves and about others if we take the time to reflect. Sometimes it's actually good to rid ourselves of the toxic relationships or those that don't work. 

I started EMDR several months ago. The therapist wasn't the right one for me. I've learnt more about what I am looking for in the people that help me and that I need to ask questions about their style earlier on and set boundaries too (I'm not a huge fan of therapist self disclosure). It annoys me that I wasted all this time and money and it took 9 precious 10 medicare sessions. It annoys me that the therapist wasn't honest about the relationship not working too. But, we've both learnt things and given each other feedback. So it's onto a new therapist in a few weeks and we'll see what happens. Fingers crossed.

I see also my experience is not uncommon to this group. It's one of the most important relationships we can form for our healing and also one of the most difficult.