LIVE NOW // Topic Tuesday // Finding the joy in Christmas

[Former-Member]

I'm not feeling any joy but I want my kids to have a good day but not really sure what or how we will spend the day.

[NikNik]

Hi @Louis-Rigolly

Oh my goodness - that sounds terrible. It sounds like there's two parts to your post here:

1) the long term effects of the kennel being next door (which you're anticipating getting worse as it's the holiday season)

2) anticipating a christmas that doesn't have much joy to it.

Firstly, my main concern is your wellbeing. I'm really sorry to hear that this whole thing has driven you to such a point where you feel cornered into two options. It is fantastic though, that you are engaging in mindfulness practice (I'd love to hear what mindfulness exercises you find helpful). I'm really glad you're taking this option.

We are a peer support community, so we can't offer crisis support - but some fantastic organisations that you might find useful are:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat
Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling
If in immediate danger: 000

Are you safe tonight?

[coffeegirl]

Oh @Louis-Rigolly

I do know that feeling of past memories. Do you have any grand kids?

[coffeegirl]

Hi @Former-Member

You're a great mum! I hope the joy you bring to your children will bring you some happiness. I have found in the past, regardless of where I am, if I can make my child laugh or even just smile, it makes me smile. I hope you get that affect too.

Do you have any preliminary plans?

[Former-Member]

It's just me and my two lil ones - they're 4 and 7 I thought about going to playground during day but worried b full of big families picnicking and gathering. I'm not sure about food kids are a bit picky so probably something we usually have not much point in cooking anything fancy

[NikNik]

@coffeegirl & @Louis-Rigolly it sounds like you might be spending some of your Christmas by yourself. Some people actually like to be by themselves. But for those who want to be around others; some suggestions include:

• Volunteer at a local charity: Whether it be at a shelter or somewhere serving food to homeless, check out local charities open on Christmas day. Hospitals, animal shelters and church are other places that are typically open 365 days a year and like to have people around to help out (or just be around).

• Mission Australia do a Christmas lunch in the park http://www.christmaslunchinthepark.com.au/ while this event isn’t national, it’s worth checking out if local charities do the same.

• Connecting online: Skype or facetime family and friends throughout the day.
  

• Plan a road trip, grab a tent and set up camp. Designated camping areas have a real sense of community – with people coming together for BBQs, most people are really welcoming and will share a meal with every body. And you’re out with nature, which is always good for the soul.

Any other ideas or things people have done in the past?

[coffeegirl]

@Former-Member - the park sounds like a great idea! You know what kids that age are like... they tend to be drawn to each other in the playground. Who knows, they may find other kids their age to play with?

I have been to a nursing home before.. I "volunteered" which involved me just being there any enjoying the day! Most nursing homes are looking for people, even just to chat, to other residents. I didn't have family around that year, and neither did these people in the nursing home.. so we were a great combo! I really enjoyed myslelf 🙂

[Former-Member]

Yeah I just worry they will feel like they're missing out on something if they see all these big families having parties and stuff

[coffeegirl]

Oh I understand now @Former-Member and I'm really sad that you feel that way. I might be over stepping the mark, but is your worry of what your children might feel like they're missing out on, actually mean they miss out on a potentially wonderful day in the park?

When mine were young, I was apprehensive of letting my children have friends over because our house was much smaller than their friends. But my very wise and relentless children bugged me and bugged me and I realised I was stopping them from having fun with their friends - which wasn't my intention. I don't know if anyone ever said anything to them about our house... but if they did, it seemed to have been outweighted with the fun they had with their friends in our then shoebox house.

[NikNik]

@Former-Member - my parents would be able to relate to you! Growing up I was an only child (well.. I still am 🙂 ) and my parents felt guilty about our small celebrations. I only found this out much later in life. I never noticed! They put so much effort to make Christmas and birthdays so special (whether that be making my favourite cake or putting daggy party hats on), which has formed a lot of wonderful childhood memories.

What about family christmas traditions. Does anyone want to share theirs?