I'm a little confused with this thread so I apologise if I'm not responding to the most recent question. I wanted to reply to the question about accepting your diagnosis.
It seems to me that the answer to this really differs, depending on what your diagnosis is. For example, I have a secondary dx of PTSD. This, to me, is a bunch of symptoms and I can imagine a time when I no longer have those symptoms so the dx is something I have, not something I am.
My primary dx of DID, which I am still struggling to accept, seems to be different in that it says that the person I believe myself to be, is not who I really am. This is much harder. I don't know but I wonder if personality disorder dx are similar in this way? I cannot just say, I am me and I have this illness, when the illness criteria itself say I am wrong about who I am.
This is one of my struggles.
@Former-Member
I agree with you, and I also have both PTSD and DID. I understand DID is classed as a dissociative disorder, rather than a personality disorder so personally I feel it is important to understand that distinction. It used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder but was changed. I'm glad it was changed!
I wasn't alarmed by my dx of DID, I'd already worked most of it out, although it did take a while for it to sink in because it does put you into a more 'complex' category of mental illness. It wasn't the DID that put me out of my comfort zone, but moving into psychiatric therapy and having to see someone 'new'. Therapy can be 'normal' for PTSD (as far as who you see, ie Psychologist) but DID is seen as a 'speciality' psychiatric counselling type thing. Also people generally arn't too concerned if you have PTSD, but DID is something phenomenal - plus there are those psychiatrists and other medical doctors who simply don't believe in it. Tell people you're hearing voices really, unfortunately, can freak them out.
I want you to know you are you, and your dx of DID is no different from any other mental illness as far as it being an illness. There is no being wrong about who you are. Dissociation is protective at a time when you needed that, it is what helped us cope.
I have learnt to view DID the same as PTSD, and also Major Depression - they are all illnesses. I am still me, my treament is a bit more but certainly not impossible. Focusing on internal communication, being understanding and gentle on yourself and your Alters, knowing that treatment can take time and also learning as much about DID as you can - these all make a difference.
But DID, having a dx, can also bring relief - it 'explains' things. Decreases the confusion. Something now makes sense. If you have previously been diagnosed with other illnesses like BPD or Schizophrenia (or nothing that made sense) and had the wrong treatment, then moving into the correct treatment will make a world of difference.
I don't struggle with DID, I accept it and understand it's purpose. It's taken me a few years but my Alters are becoming better known to me and I've found the ways they each help me, but also have the capacity to harm me. That's why inner communication becomes so important, to work with your Alters and understand them.
It's both simple and complex to me. Maybe simple for me to understand why I 'have' DID, but complex as in time to be in treatment. I'm trying to simplify it because the textbook thing about DID makes it too complex and I think that frightens people too much. I'm still me, I'm just fractured and to me that's OK.
You're not alone.
JJ.
