Ask Anything Monday!

[PeppiPatty]

@kenny66

Your here,

How are you my friend?

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @kenny66

Good to find you and see you,

How are you? I like your message....

In my little life with my husband and memories of my  son;

For my son, definately stress and not having a good support around him.He decided not to smoke weed anymore but huis housemates kept on so....he got really ill.

For my husband; before he was self medicating on alcohol and dr. and he was very ill. Now he's decided to quit, we have found stress is a major factor.

But having me around as his support, helps him.

Things we Do to ease the stress;

1. Good good friendship.

2. lots of compliments and positive feedback.

3. a daily  timetable.For instance;

9am   wake up

9.30am cuddle Arlo (my dog)

10am coffee and breakfast

10.15am ; meds.

etc....

[kenny66]

@PeppiPatty

it took me a while to respond.

I am having chemotherapy at the moment for 6 months so my world is a bit upside down.

All of the things you mention are so critical to our wellbeing. Particularly cuddling Arlo. I cuddle my cats all the time.

Both my flatmate and I have psychotic episodes but our support for each other gets us through.

My present sickness has worsened his psychosis because he perceives whatever stability he has in his world is slipping away.

So my job for the immediate future will be to alleviate that stress however I can and hopefully diminish his psychotic episodes.

Since becoming ill relationships and my cats have become the most important things in my life.

It funny how a serious illness diagnosis focuses the mind.

Kenny

[PeppiPatty]

Dear Kenny,

Thank you for your message. I've been

 thinking about you. Often in the past, I have so noticed,  enjoyed and accepted your kindness. 

It's good to see you. EVerything changes doesnt it in  friendships with a serious medical illness.

I like so much reading your usual kindness................. reaching out to your flat mate.

Most people would be too numb and self reflecting to even see what you do.

Take care my friend, Love Anne 

[NikNik]

Happy Monday All!

Thanks @PeppiPatty @kenny66 & @Former-Member for responding to last week's AAM.

Here is this week's question:

Basically I've been managing what I call mental-ill-health (as opposed to illness) on my own for many years and recently for the first time, professionals are starting to get involved. I'm finding it really confusing to know what to allow them access to (i.e. to say, yes this is illness and you can treat it) and what to keep to myself as none of their business.

So anyway, one issue is their 24 hour triage phone line. It depends a bit on who you speak to but they seem to want me to call it at a point which is far short of what I would call a crisis. I don't know - it's confusing. The question I'm most in need of an answer to, is what will they do if I called and told them I was having thoughts about suicide but that I was reasonably confident I could resist them and stay safe. Would they talk to me but trust my judgment and ultimately leave me be or feel compelled to intervene? For instance, I've called lifeline before. Is the point of intervention the same? I get the feeling that it's less but not sure if that's reliable... I guess I'm just wondering what other people's experience or knowledge of this is.

Thanks 🙂

[Former-Member]

I'm so glad you've asked this question because I have wondered the same things and haven't used the mental health line that my psychiatrist wants me to. However after my last psychiatrist appointment where we talked about my darker thoughts (he always asks about my suicidal thoughts yuck!) their only intervention was to come and take away a couple of "dangerous" items from my house and I agreed not to replace them.
When it comes to how much to say... That us something I've struggled hugely with, my psychologist has given me the analogy that I'm always trying to balance what I'm saying like I'm walking along a fence - don't say too much one way or the other or I'll fall off. But I've sort of realised that I do need to trust someone ... And let it all be out there so to speak because everything is intertwined and I was using sooooo much energy trying to work out how much to say all the time, then worrying if I said enough that my psychologist could understand where I was coming from or said too much that she was suddenly going to realise how bad I am and run to the hills lol however over a loooong time I have begun to trust more and let more out (usually by email!!) and at times it seems that it makes it easier to progress through things. But my automatic pilot is still to clamp down and disappeAr and avoid!!
Not sure if that makes sense or not,
Will be interested to heAr others point of view!!
Lj

[Mazarita]

Perhaps you could write down your own definition of what constitutes a crisis and agree with yourself that, if this point is reached, you will call the triage line no matter what. If you do this, one thing you might ask yourself is whether your idea of a crisis is a situation that has gone too far already. Sometimes we can have a tendency to minimise the seriousness of our struggles. This has been the case for me at times. Wishing you the best.

[JackJane]

How much to disclose to professionals is always a daunting thing and suicidal thoughts/self harm can really rattle some people in mental health care regardless of who they are.  Personally it's been important for me to confront the issue head on ( in a manner of speaking ) but that wasn't first up.  So I completely understand how starting the conversation can be very frightening, and difficult.

During that first initial few weeks/months into a year or two, it's such a fragile stage and even if you don't openly admit to feeling suicidal then most good therapists and other professionals will work it out at some stage.  They may even ask directly "Are you feeling suicidal?"  I also have found that different professionals have different ideas about how to deal with a patient who is actively suicidal, so when you feel the time is right to discuss it I think there needs to be some boundaries set by US, as PATIENTS.

Asking what they would do in such and such a scenario, and if you have a good support network at home and feel confident you can manage in a crisis, then ask your therapist or other professional (be it a psychiatrist, doctor, etc) for ideas to keep you safe that keep you at home because ultimately I think most of us want to remain in our home or with our family/friends.  I personally feel that hospital should be a last resort.  A plan is a good idea and can be a focus on therapy sessions.

Outline a plan you feel already works - it may be relaxation techniques, contacting a friend or family member you trust, distraction.  What are the triggers also, can they be minimised?  Have you started a new medication which is of concern?

Trust works both ways - you need to be able to trust the professional that they won't pack you off to hospital because lets face it if you disclose you are suicidal and then get sent off to hospital (and you didn't want that) then are you going to disclose it again - no way!  But if you don't trust your professional then it's almost impossible to build trust and start to work through how to deal with those suicidal thoughts and/or self harm issues.  Catch 22, right?

So setting the boundary has helped me.  Have your own plan of what currently helps you when a crisis starts.  Build on what already works and give your professional an idea of what you will accept and what you won't.  "I don't want to be hospitalised, but I will message you when I notice I'm slipping in to a crisis and we will work it from there".  Then dedicate some time in sessions or appointments to how well that plan works.

I have never been hospitalised and I have a list of point of contacts / priority list of what to do  - I trust my direct team of treatment providers NOT to hospitalise me because we have many other options before that point.  Ultimately if you are an obvious and grave risk to yourself or others, then hospital is a high possibility - but the point at which your therapist or doctor would actually do that depends on how much trust you all have in each other.

They have a duty of care to you as their patient, but it's a very personal thing how much you disclose and I'm sure most professionals understand the fear we have as patients on disclosing something that may lead to being hospitalised against our will.  The more they know you, the more they will understand.

I think being honest and asking 'what if ... ?" is a good place to begin.  Express your wish strongly NOT to be hospitalised and to help work with you on strategies for coping during a crisis and there are many things to work on before the need for hospitalisation.  If you feel the professional isn't right for you, then seek another one.

Please take care, and stay safe.

JJ.

[Appleblossom]

The issues of what to reveal ....what to hide ....  and whether I am in an emotional state that enables me to exercise significant control has concerned me for nearly 50 years ... yes ... since the time of be made a state ward.

I can relate deeply to @Former-Member 's anxiety about what to say or not ... at first I did clam up ... through childhood, teens and early adulthood ... but as issues often involved those close to me ... I opted for full disclosure most of the time ...

so I actually value the questioners line ... what is none of their business ...

I dont have clear answers ... but when I studied counselling they had a few protocols.

Perhaps they should be widely extended and personalised ... so that people can be healthily encouraged to remain at home if possible .. and that not only the loud or dramatic people ... get help in mhu ... and that help is better tageted and goes round to more people.

Definitely SI should be on the agenda fairly regularly ... as it is one of the main issues of MI.

Maybe the staff shouldnt catastrophise on behalf of their favourite types of patients and deny appropriate service to others ... that they have less understanding of.

[PeppiPatty]

Hello
Thank you for asking such a relevant question.
My faith is weakened to state it plainly on ringing triage nurse but the posts of @ lisajane @Maritza and @JackJane @Appleblossom make so much sense to me.

@Maritza writes ; It makes a lot good sense to me writing down a plan

That @JackJohn writes a duty of care is definitely something for you to remember and when you show them your 'plan,' to write that on top of the page. The boundary thing she talks about is also something to explore. Of building on a plan you have already worked with and writing down what you do or don't pit up with.

What is good about Lj message is her experience and finding it hard to trust. Honey, @Former-Member you are so needed here with how hard you work and not for only your children but for yourself too
I'm interested to read other messages
Thanks Anne