Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[kristilee84]

Ive been with the love of my life for 14 months. When we are good we are amazing but the last 6 months have been the biggest roller coaster of my life. My boyfriend has been suffering ptsd but I think there could much more. He is on and off his medication he does not give it time for the medication to work. He has been in hospital once before earlier this year but signed himself out thinking he is okay. I know I cant go into much detail as my first post was deleted. He is hospital now and has been there for 4 days. He doesnt want to see me and doesnt even want me to drop clean clothes to him. I really do believe he loves me but others are saying what he has put me through there is no way he loves me. I love him and miss him so much. I would like some advice on what to do with him he rejecting me,our relationship has been the hardest thing ive ever had to go through in my life. Im in my 30s he is in his mid 20s. I have 3 children which arent his. Ive been going through this blindfolded and would love some advice as to how to get through this and if I should leave him be and wait for him to come back to me? Im so gutted.

[NickyNoo]

Firstly - thankyou @kristilee84 for sharing your story with us.

It sounds like it has been a tough road for both of you over the last 6 months, and he may not realise it presently but as he becomes more well the support will be appreciated.

You may need to allow time for medications to work and for him to sort things out in his own mind. I know it is hard not to listen to what other people say but stay positive and go with your heart but more importantly don't loose yourself in all this. He may just need space and time as you may also need.

Maybe use this time to focus on yourself and your kids as he sounds like he has the support he needs in the hospital.

Continue to access these forum and connect with people. You sound like a strong lady - hang in there.

NickyNoo

[NikNik]

Hi @kristilee84

I completely agree with @NickyNoo - there could be a change in meds or treatment, which will take some time to settle. He might be embarrassed, he might be pushing you away, so many different things could be causing it. 

One thing's for sure, you're not alone in your experience. There's a discussion here about @Purplewife 's experience with her husband in hospital. I'm not sure if she's experienced the sense of rejection you are - but what's clear is that we are also deeply impacted by our loved one's admissions to hospital.

@Attahua has also had quite a bit of experience of her partner going to hospital - which has been really tough aswell. Attahua, do you have any advice for Kristilee?

How are things travelling now @kristilee84 ?

Nik

[CherryBomb]

Hi @kristilee84,

How's things? I hope things are doing ok with you. I agree with @NickyNoo, perhaps this is time where you can turn inwards and care for yourself.

It's hard, I understand, when you really want to connect with your partner and he's pushing you away. The only thing that you have control of in this situation is yourself. So focusing on you and what you can do to make the situation better for you can be helpful. If your partner is pushing you away, and this is hurting you, then continuing to approach him may be setting yourself up for more hurt.  Be upfront, let him know the impact of his behaviour. I'm not suggesting that you walk away altogether. But keep the door open for when he is ready to connect again. In the mean time, do what you need to do to care for you.

[kristilee84]

Thank you for you reply on my post.
Things have been really good. He has come back to me and im so happy. Its been over 2 weeks with him home and its been really good. He is now taking his medication everyday, I took a step back and he got in touch with me when he got out of hospital. Thank you for your comment ☺

[kristilee84]

Thank you for you reply on my post.
Things have been really good. He has come back to me and im so happy. Its been over 2 weeks with him home and its been really good. He is now taking his medication everyday, I took a step back and he got in touch with me when he got out of hospital. Thank you for your comment ☺