Lived Experience Forum

[TheOneAndOnly]

i guys..
I'm 29yr old that can't sleep! No matter how hard I try it doesn't happen...
Every time I try I find myself flashing back to things that happened to me when I was younger...
Traumatic things. But I've never had this before now...
But since becoming a drug user I just can't seem to shut my eyes without the past seeming like it's happening all over again as I lay there....
I feel like I'm the 8yr old kid again...
And I thought I'd put it past me years ago...
Now I'm living it every time I put my head down...
It's like it's happening for the first time every time!
And I'm not even asleep or remotely close to sleeping. ..as soon as it's dark it's happening!
And cos of this I don't want to sleep. .I can't sleep...
So i take meds to knock myself out and I sleep so heavily I don't wake up to anything!!
But without medicine I stay awake for days on end!
I don't know what to do!
It's killing me...
I find myself lying to everyone about everything I do cos no one else really understands how I can stay awake for 4-5 days when I'm completely straight and then sleep for 24hrs and do it all over again and again and again....
Then I'll go a week of solid sleeping....After 3 weeks of being awake 5-6 days out of 7...
I'll literally sleep for 10hrs. Wake up for half hr...
Sleep for another 12...wake for half hr...etc
Then yes I take drugs in between all that but no where near as much as anyone else thinks I do...
I dunno what's worse. ..The flashbacks or the sleeping patterns that happen to me naturally....
I miss nearly every appointment I ever have
No mater how hard I try to keep the appointment it never happens...
So i get stuck in the loop and I don't know what to do! !!

[utopia]

Hi @TheOneAndOnly. You really do need to get yourself to your gp asap. No forgetting the appointment. Go diwn tomorrow morning and sit in reception until your appointment comes up.
You say since taking drugs these 2 issues have occurred. Speak honestly about this tk your gp. She/he will help you. Give you referrals. You may need sleeping tablets tovhelp settle you back into a sleep pattern, but the taking of drugs might interupt that.
Give lifeline a call tonight or beyond blue. They may offer some help until you get to the doctors tomorrow.
Keep in touch with us and let us know how you get on.

[Princessmolly]

Oh hun this sounds truly terrible. I suffered insomnia like this years ago and nothing seemed to work. Longest stretch awake was 5 days. You have such a lot going on. Id definantly seek medical help..would you consider an impatient stay somewhere so you could work on your sleep hygiene, drug use and possible PTSD? I know how hard it is to break addictive cycles. For me it was alcohol.i really really hope that things start improving for you soon.

[suzanne]

Hi @TheOneAndOnly, welcome to the Forums.  We have a thread here called the Night Shift filled with members such as yourself who just can't get to sleep.  Check it out here as you may find some good company there one night.

I am quite passionate about the importance of sleep hygiene as it's made a huge difference in my life.  However, you've got some compounding factors in play with the trauma and drug use and it might not be time to go down that path just yet.

I second the recommendation to see your GP as there are a number of services they can refer you to that might be able to help.  For example, the GP can write out a mental health care plan that gives you a referral to a Psychologist who can help you process and put the trauma to rest.  The psych can also talk through the impact of the drug use.  You may not be ready to change that but at least you can unpick the impact on sleep and maybe make better decisions about what and when.

If you keep a sleep diary for a week or more and take that to a GP it might provide enough information for a referral to a sleep study clinic as well.  These referrals are getting more common although I'm not exactly sure about the referral criteria. Keep it in mind and ask your GP about it.  These clinics can work out what's happening and provide some individual recommendations. It might be though that you need to try some other things first.

Sleep's so critical to our health and well-being.  I hope you find a way to improve yours One and Only.