Lived Experience Forum

[Lizz]

When i was younger i ised to drink a lot, every weekend and usually blackout but i feel like there are terrible things that happened to me during these times...some of it i know of, some i think i have memories of but not sure and lately i am thinking more and more about it...not because i want to but it just gets in my head and makes me feel awful and sick...this was 7+ years ago though. I dont know how to deal with these sudden thoughts and memories of things i left behind a long time ago. Does anyone else experience this!?

[Detaerix21]

I experience this and big hugs to you if you want them ❤️

You should try get a counsellor, or if you cant... start unpacking things which come up. Really slowly. When you ignore them you just send them to breed up more issues under the veil of consciousness.
But when they come up, give them a moment and think. About it and the emotions they are causing you. And mourn the feelings.. Feel the grief of the moment and then when you've thought over it for a few minutes, let it drop away and give yourself A reward.
Even if you have no idea what happened, it is all very valid and just focus on the emotions.
Hugs!

[Lizz]

Thank you 🙂 it really helps to know that there is even one other person out there that has experienced this. I do have a psychologist but at times i find it hard to tell her things straight away...im always honest with her but it takes me time to be able to confess the really bad thoughts and feelings...being able to talk anonymously to others seems to give me more courage....i will definitely take your advice and not just panic when these thoughts and memories come up and sit with them for a moment

[Shimmer]

Hi @Lizz,

I'm Shimmer, one of the SANE Forums moderators, welcome 

Experiencing intrusive thoughts and memories of terrible things you aren't sure about sounds really awful. @Detaerix21 makes some great suggestions around acknowledging and slowly processing you emotions.

It's understandable that you find it hard to tell your psychologist some of the darker things straight away. Have you been able to have a conversation with her about this? Sometimes it can help to acknowledge that reluctance to share some things (without having to say what they are), so your psychologist knows there is something there that you can work through together when you feel ready.

I'm glad that speaking anonymously on the Forums is giving you more courage. We're here to listen if you would like to share more.

Take care,

Shimmer

[Nikolai]

Hi @Lizz
I have the same thing happen to me with events from in 8 to 10 years ago. I can't offer any advice I'm sorry but just thought it would be helpful to know you're not the only one.
-N