Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Murray]

My daughter has been unwell for years, I feel as though I've been on a never ending conveyer belt of draining emotions and countless unsuccessful attempts to "fix" her. This is what mothers do right? Fix things in their child's life..make things right. This insidious and invisible illness has taken over my daughter and no matter what I do I can't help her. Bit by bit it's tearing us both to pieces.
I have three other children that need a healthy, strong and happy mum. I have a husband that had created boundaries between himself and our daughter that both infuriate and astound me and place the full burden of her endless needs on my shoulders. I just need to unload.

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Murray,

Caring for an adult child with a mentail illness is not easy. It can feel like a roller coaster, often with more lows than highs. 

Offloading, and getting things off your chest can help a bit. Sounds like you're carrying such a heavy load, I hope that unloading on here helps.

There's a few people on here that share similar concerns who have just posted recently. @JAC has written here about caring for their daughter who has BPD. @karen1 talks about the daily struggles of caring for her daughter here, and @KS1972 is also a mother caring for several children while also caring for an adult daughter with MI, which she has written about here. Also @Frustrateddad might be able to comment here. 

@Murray how long have things been like this? Do you have any supports (e.g., family and friends) that can help out?

Hope to hear from you soon.

CherryBomb

[KS1972]

I hear you!
We are on a similar journey. My daughter, now 18, has recently been diagnosed with bipolar and dissociative identity disorder. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that while dealing with everything that goes with family life with an unsupportive husband. He's helpful with other things but is clueless (by choice) when it comes to our daughter. It's taken over three years to get a 'proper' diagnosis.
Stay strong, cry when you need to, accept help when it's offered, ask for help when it's not offered freely. Make sure to look after yourself as well. It's hard to do it but it's so much better for everyone if you're ok. You can both get through this.
What support networks do you guys have access to? Do you get a break from the caring role to look after you?