Lived Experience Forum

[Nat29]

Hi, I'm new here and a little scared. I'm embarrassed about my OCD that has consumed my life since a child. Yes I pull my hair out. I've never been in full control of it. But it does vary according to my anxiety. 

I haven't spoken to anyone with my condition. OCD often refers to germs and cleaning. I do have some of those traits, but only with my hands.

I would appreciate hearing from other people who also suffer from this type of OCD.

Thank you 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Nat29  and welcome to the forum 

my partners OCD is always checking things over and over 

I will tag @NatureLover 

and also there is a Topic Tuesday // OCD from an insiders perspective // 1 Aug, 7pm AEST 

Topic Tuesday // OCD: Behind The Mask // Tues 13th April, 7:00-8:30PM AEST 

Topic Tuesday // OCD - Managing compulsions // 25 Jul, 7pm AEST 

Follow-Up to the OCD Discussion Eventto read only but are very interesting @moderator 

[AlSimon]

hello there. 

i just joined too!! I would like to thank you for sharing this as it makes me think about my own experiences with OCD. For myself, I also have a difficult time with contamination and it too is predominantly in my hands. I wanted to share my experience, although it’s not trich, I compulsively pick my skin in really visual places. i experience huge shame because, it’s almost a subconscious act but the consequences are really obvious and make it very hard to cover up. but at the same time it’s so difficult to bring up with other people because they can assume that my appearance is just a break out or I have a rash. i also feel because my contamination compulsions are quite discreet, people can’t make a direct correlation to OCD. i think that my mental health disorder makes me look to others like a quirky freak and I’m

“that person who washes their hands and has a gross skin condition”. the feeling that my thoughts have disfigured my appearance and now others are judging me on that I guess? 

I’m not sure if sharing how I feel will resonate with you at all or not, maybe I missed the mark entirely. 

i appreciate you for sharing. 

[Shaz51]

Sitting with you @AlSimon , @Nat29 

@NatureLover 

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Nat29 , it's really good to have you here! 🙂

I have OCD germophobia, but I also lose a lot of hair through tying it in knots. I haven't got much hair left! (I'm female) It's not the same as trichotillomania, I don't think. I really feel for you. 

I'm guessing that you don't have a psychologist to talk about it with? You can go to your GP (if you feel up to telling them about it?) and get a Mental Health Care Plan for 10 subsidised sessions per year (20 during Covid) with a psychologist. However, psychologists are overloaded at present and the wait times to get in to see one are 6 months or so. So you could maybe start the ball rolling, and then maybe see how you feel about attending closer to the date maybe? 

I know you didn't actually ask about professional help, but just about others here who might suffer from trichotillomania. I don't know of any, unfortunately. There aren't many here either who have germophobia, which surprised me. But you might get lucky and someone will be here and respond...I hope so. 

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply. 

I hope you find the forums supportive! Please tag me using @ at any time, I would really like to support you as best I can. 🙂

[NatureLover]

Welcome, @AlSimon ! I'm delighted you've joined as well - another person with OCD germophobia, and Excoriation Disorder! At least, that's what I've been diagnosed with, as I pick my skin like you, and have the contamination issues. 

I am female, so I'm able to cover my wounds with cover-up make-up on my hands, face, arms and legs when I go out. I've had Excoriation Disorder since a baby, so for 50 years. In my case it came from a super-critical parent. You can read about Excoriation Disorder and the possible causes in the DSM-5 - it's a new diagnosis in that edition. 

Previously it was thought to be part of BPD or OCD, you're right. In my case it's not SH (self harm), although it has turned into SH in the past when I was suicidal. 

If you want to talk about Excoriation Disorder, we could start a new thread on it? So we don't take over this thread? There are a couple of other people on here who have it too. 

You can tag me any time using @.  I'm so pleased to meet you, @AlSimon . Thanks for sharing.

[AlSimon]

@NatureLover hello!
that would be really supportive and helpful i think!
I don’t want to hijack this post.

[NatureLover]

OK, @AlSimon , I'll start it! 🙂

[Nat29]

Thank you so much. I completely understand as I spent 20 odd years of picking my skin too. I always had marks on my legs. It's so relieving to do. Hiding it is the hardest. I so apptyoir message. Thank you 

[Nat29]

@NatureLover Thank you so much. I'm 51, female, I've seen pyschs for years and really the only thing which helps is medication. I'm on anti depressants. It doesn't help with the OCD.  I've seen some pychologists who knew nothing about Trich. So weird. So that's embarrassing. I began pulling hair as a child but no one took notice if it. Eyelashes, brows and then at 18, my hair. It does feel good but afterwards you're left with baldness and that depression kicks in. I so appreciate your message. Thank you so much.