Running

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

And then I remember the beautiful woman I imagined I would become... that I would dance with my beloved believing that I was innocent and pure and how I've never felt that way since the memories started when I was 20...

And it all hits me like a ton of bricks

[AuntGlow]

How was therapy on Thursday? @avant-garde 💛

[avant-garde]

@AuntGlow 

https://saneforums.org/t5/Talking-through-trauma-and-PTSD/Running/m-p/1767583/highlight/true#M8361

[Jynx]

Aww @avant-garde that kind of grief is so hard to sit with. I hope you were able to get some rest last night, and that church has been nice today 💜

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

It's more than grief, it's like at the very heart of my soul the intrinsic belief that I'm worthless...

[AuntGlow]

Thank you for sharing this with me @avant-garde. I understand that feeling - second-guessing yourself after working so hard to build self-trust... were you able to talk about it with them? 💛

[Jynx]

I know the heartache of holding that belief about myself too @avant-garde - for me it was a despair like no other. It can feel sometimes like there's no hope of ever being anything other than what we believe ourselves to be - but beliefs aren't static, and can change and grow as we do. 

Complex developmental trauma can make it really hard to feel like we can grow beyond the boxes we were forced into when we were little. You've proven time and again that you are so much more than what you were told you could be. I reckon you've got more worth than you can yet see hun 💜

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

I went next door and figured if I can't pat my cat then at least I can pet my neighbours. Turns out I was wrong and just spent 20 minutes repairing the damage from the claws to my hands

[avant-garde]

@AuntGlow 

I won't be able to until our next session Thursday week 

[Jynx]

@avant-garde oh noooo ouch!! Kitty scratches can be so nasty, hope you've got plenty of disinfectant! 

That would leave me feeling pretty blech. Hugs for you hun

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