(not actually) Coping with things.

[The-red-centaur]

@fluffylight thank you for the hugs. I don't know how to be gentle to myself at the moment. I blame myself for what happened. I can't escape

[Dimity]

I hope she stays in touch @The-red-centaur .

And I wonder how the older you could comfort that 16yo. So much repeated trauma. 

I know it's a non sequiter, but is there a market for your paintings?

[Jynx]

Hey @The-red-centaur sorry to hear things are rough for you at the moment. I think sometimes, being gentle with yourself is just about taking it slow, one step at a time, and if your mind is being really mean, talking with it like a child and telling it to give you a break... 

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now. 

[The-red-centaur]

@Dimity I plan to make enough art to make a market stall at my local night market. It's a dream I've had for a little while. I keep selling them or giving them away so I don't have big enough collection. It also takes a lot of additional stuff to set up a stall. eg, a square for tap and go, tables and marques, enough easels to display products, the list goes on. So for now I just market it online. I need to get my butt into gear and get an ABN, and business cards. The list goes on. 

Despite all the drama of it all, I still plan to progress towards that goal. maybe i can do some logistical stuff tonight while i cant sleep. 

@Jynx Its been really tough tonight. My inner critic is loud and not letting me sleep. Maybe I can do some of what I mentioned above. 

[NatureLover]

@The-red-centaur  Oh no re your traumatic anniversary tomorrow...will be sending wishes for you...

[The-red-centaur]

I just saw my psychiatrist.  I'll be discharged on Friday. 

[The-red-centaur]

Urghh. The pain is bad tonight. I really don't need this on top of everything. 

I don't want tomorrow, can I just not exist. 

[Dimity]

Hang in there @The-red-centaur .I know it's bad. I've got stuff resurfacing myself and

I'm trying to ride it out.

Tomorrow is just an anniversary, just a trick of the calendar, an unfortunate recurring pattern of numbers. You have taken a different path since then, and you've exercised your own capacity for decision-making and perhaps reinvented yourself. I hope and trust you can overcome the dark shadows and face the day with confidence. 

[NatureLover]

@The-red-centaur ...what @Dimity  said...

Am thinking of you today...I hope you can be kind to yourself today. 

[The-red-centaur]

Thank you @Dimity I'm sorry you have your own things resurfacing. It sucks, doesn't it. 

I didn't sleep much during the night, its 6am and I'm already over today.