Workplace PTSD

[Dilmar]

Hi there, new to the forums here, but thought I'd reach out as I'm sinking into a black hole here and can't seem to work out where to go.

So about 6-8 months ago, I noticed a change in the workplace, I work remotely, am the last in my team to do so as everyone else works in our HO based on the Sunshine Coast. 

I started noticing that my manager was becoming very nitpicky about the work that I was doing, finding faults in minor things, but making a big issue out of it, to the point that she thought I was "taking the piss" (her words) whereas others in the team, making similar mistakes were not being dragged over the coals so to speak.

This all came to a head when she decided that we need to have a "chat" to HR and see how they can help, and later that day got an email about a "Performance Improvement plan". How this escalated from "chat" to "PIP", I have no idea. 

I went through this 6 week process, only for my workplace to decide that I needed another 6 weeks, cause I apparently didnt say "hello" to 5 staff members at a national conference and that my "behaviour" was not up to standard. 

No matter what I have said to defend myself, I cannot please these people and its affected me this much that I had my first panic attack in 8 years last week. 

Has anyone else been in/faced similar situations and apart from resigning and getting out straight away.. coped through this?

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Dilmar and welcome to the forums. 

I'm so glad that you've found this space, particularly as what you're going through at work sounds like it's pretty isolating.

I can hear that you're feeling singled out and micromanaged and I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for them to be setting all of these hoops for you to jump through.

While I haven't been in this exact position, I wonder if it might be worth documenting what's going on? If you feel you're being treated unfairly or bullied, having a record may be useful to help prove that management has been behaving in an unreasonable manner. 

Something I have needed to do at an old workplace is take stress leave due to work-related stress, and I'm so glad I did. Looking back I only wish I'd allowed myself to take more time off as I probably pushed myself to get back to work before I was really ready. Seeing my GP was really helpful in deciding to do this, as they were really supportive and could tell I was burnt out. Dealing with WorkCover was a bit of a hassle, but ultimately taking that break was something I needed to do to be able to keep working there. Given that you recently experienced a panic attack due to this situation, I wonder if this might be something you might consider also?

I'd be really interested to hear how other's might have dealt with situations similar to yours.

[Dimity]

Hello @Dilmar and welcome.

I'm sorry you're in this situation and have had panic attacks recur

I'm now retired but experienced bullying in more than one job. I quit one job when I thought managers weren't addressing bullying - in fact they soon after demoted the bully - but my leaving had big ramifications for my future work and my superannuation so be careful. 

I wonder if your employer is laying the procedural trail for retrenching you - as your being the only person working remotely may be inconvenient for them.  Document everything in case you have to contest an unfair dismissal. Depending on how confident you feel, you could enquire as to their intentions.  Your severance pay could be hugely different if they admit they're restructuring rather than dismissing you on performance grounds.

Good luck.

Dimity

[Dilmar]

Thanks Dimity, yea, definitely got the feeling of being pushed out, they have done it with a number of other remote people and all in the name of "cost cutting" but then promoted 6 people? Go figure. They swear black and blue that its not a push out and they need my role, but I tell you, its not felt like that for the last 6 months at least.

[Dilmar]

thanks ru-bee, yea, I have tried documenting it, but it seems that my micromanager has more comprehensive notes than I do and that the organisation thinks the sun shines out her bum, so of course, I am the one in the wrong and that "I should just do my Fking job" (as quoted to me by someone in senior management), never in 30 years of working have I come across a place so toxic and just so pig headed in the way they operate.

[Patches59]

@Dilmar  I experienced workplace bullying at last location I worked at prior to deciding to retire.  I had a supportive and understanding gp who told me that my physical and mental health were being affected.

during Covid I started working from home and was one of the last staff members to return to the workplace full time.  First few months I worked full time at home then one day at week in the workplace which, without notification or discussion, became full time in the workplace.

Various times I had also spoken with management about bullying and harrassment from fellow work colleagues.  These were brushed aside or I was made to feel things were minor.

I contacted Harrassment Contact staff and lodged formal complaint against more than one staff member.  I had reached an age where I could receive my superannuation. After talking with my gp, my superannuation firm plus bank where my mortgage was I had good knowledge of my options.

first day back after having few weeks leave I knew I had reached a point I had to put myself first and gave my formal 2 weeks notice at end of that week.

highly recommend for your own records … document everything, get medical support through gp, taking stress leave.

[MJG017]

@DilmarIt definitely feels like you're being pushed out to me!  I agree with everyone else, definitely document everything.  Ask for everything in writing so you have a record.  I don't know if HR is "in on it" or not, but maybe have a word with them and see what they say.  At least then you'd definitely know if it's just a particular manager that is the issue or more 'company wide'.  Best of luck Dilmar, hopefully you can get it sorted out.  It's definitely not a good place to be when your work environment is that toxic.

[Glisten]

@Dilmar  I’ve had 4 of those people. 1 job performanced me until I left because she wanted the job for her friend.

The other three had a history of high staff turnover.

1 “retired”. 1 lost her job. Last one is still there, employing new staff every 8 - 12 months.

G

[Dilmar]

I could get statements from about 4 people that have left in the last 24 months due to her management skills, but the MD thinks she is perfect and a "glowing example of what company staff should be like", so no matter what happens, I'll always be in the wrong, I just need to leave, plain and simple. Also, the industry I am in, everyone knows or knows of everyone, so if I burnt a bridge, it would come back to kick me in the bum

[Glisten]

@Dilmar have you spoken to your union workplace delegate or Union Organiser?