Victoria lockdown and mental health and family.....

[Bed101]

hi, 

so i am from victoria and in lockdown. im struggling. im trying to stick to a rotinue, i am trying to get fresh air every day. i am trying to eat a balance diet. but its just so un motivating. 

i cant go out, i cant go swimming, my family is always home. my brother has just moved back in and does nothing expect make mess. 

i was having a me day today but he sent me a message at 7am to say he left the dog in the house and to feed him breakfast and then i got up and he had made lunch and hadnt cleaned up after himself. i cleaned the kitchen last night even when i couldnt be bothered so i could just get up and chill while everyone is at work until 1pm. but no.... i had to feed the dog and take him to his pen, i had to clean up to have breakfast. i just dont have the motivation today and its so hard to just have an off day with everyone at me. 

i have my headphones when everyone is home but then my brother yells at me because i dont answer him. then i get upset. 

someone said to me that people with mental illiness will be ok... they have no idea! like the little joy i had is gone! every thing is twice as hard. 

i feel like i should be ok and there are people worse off, and its like i cant be honest but im being honest here everything is harder. everything is challenging even more and i dont know. 

i just need to reach out to hopefully people that understand. and to people in lockdown its not easier its harder! 

thanks for reading. 

[Maggie]

@Bed101  I’m just heading to an appointment, but wanted to acknowledge your post .

I’m tagging @Dadcaringalone  who might be helpful.

I will get back later. Sorry for the rested response. 

[Dadcaringalone]

@Bed101 

Thanks for sharing your post. I'm originally from Melbourne but I'm currently interstate supporting my family and friends in Melbourne. It's an absolutely terrible time for everyone in Melbourne. I emphasize with a lot of what you say and especially "someone said to me that people with mental illiness will be ok... they have no idea! like the little joy i had is gone! every thing is twice as hard." My son has an acute mental health condition and I've got my daily issues trying to support him as I have anxiety and PTS from previous family dramas a lot revolve around my family in Melbourne. My brother has a substance issue and I try not to communicate with him via text because he's pretty abusive but I still communicate via email. I have found that boundaries are very important during lockdown. You need to be a bit selfish and look after yourself before othets. I'm also not worrying that much about food and putting on weight because just to get through a day is a big achievement. I feel like something sweet like a cake right now. It's great you are managing to eat a balanced diet and get out to exercise. I should do that more, but I've been pretty busy with work. It's really difficult being in a confined place with family all the time. I just had a fight about something petty like cleaning up and me having to do all the cooking and shopping. I think we all have our limits. Its great you decided to have a me day, hope you have done a lot for yourself. I think Selfcare is critical. I do a lot of mindfulness meditation but it's tough like you said when someone's screaming at you. My son's a bit like your brother. He screamed at me in the middle of the night ladt night just when I asked him to be quiet at about 2am. I find that if I don't sleep well my whole next day is a rightoff. I'm not sure whether this helps, but from what I read from you, it sounds like you are doing pretty well! My parents in Melbourne, because they are in their 80s, aren't leaving their house for the next 6 weeks. I had a big challenge trying to get my dad to 1st wear a face mask and now stay home and just use bpay and online shopping. Hope you had a good me day and please feel free to @ and mention my username if you feel like a chat. There are lot of great people on this forum and you can chat as much as you like under lockdown! People on this forum helped me get through some of my hardest days. Take care and look after yourself 

[Bed101]

thanks @Dadcaringalone for your reply. 

we got snow here, which has made my day. 

its just so hard finding balance between everything. life was already harder. 

your right about food. everything is so complicated. 

i have also decided to have a no news day. i just dont want to know. 

i think i just need to make sure i have some me time as you said. i am use to be well and then breaking down when no one is around but im just going to explode if i keep doing that as there is usually someone around. 

it must be hard on your parents too, i have an 90 year old aunt and she doesnt have internet banking or bank card and refuses to get one. its so hard when they are set in there ways. 

[Dadcaringalone]

@Bed101 I'm so jealous of your snow ❄️ there is something cooling and calming about snow! As you said, it makes you feel better.

Yes, what little balance existed previously has now completely changed!

I think it's okay to be a little naughty with food during lockdown as we need to have something to look forward to. I had fish and chips last night, which really hit the spot! It was a bit oily but I needed the treat.

I think its a great idea for your MH to have a no news day. I find I'm getting a bit addicted to Dan Andrews and his press conferences. I think they need to allocate more to MH though because the wellbeing of the population is as important as the economy and and other issues. I was happy to hear they setup the headtohealth.gov.au website though.

I know what you mean about having people around. I am a very people person and I used to spend a lot of time socializing with my family and friends in Melbourne as a bit of stress relief from my son. I used to love going in-person to the footy but now we just have to be content watching in on the tv with limited crowds. It's amazing how you miss the little things. 

Your 90 year aunt sounds even more challenging than my parents. My dad is the naughty one. He gets bored and can't help himself.

You sound like you are doing pretty well.

[Judi9877]

Hi @Bed101 ! I'd just like to say hi 👋 and welcome you to the forums. I'm also in Melbourne so I have an idea what you're going through. I'm also struggling at the moment with my mental health and living in these lockdown conditions are really trying.

I read that you're having trouble with motivation and eating a balanced diet. Believe me, I fully understand that as eating a balanced diet has turned into comfort food for me at times, like chocolate. Like @Dadcaringalone said, as long as you're eating something, it's an achievement, and so is just getting through the day. I see you like music! What artists do you like? Maybe we have something in common. I also like crafting like knitting and cross stitch which I'm finding to be helpful right now. What are your hobbies and interests? There are plenty of different groups on the forums that you might like to explore depending on your interests. 

Feel free to tag me using the @key to get my username if you want to chat. Like @Dadcaringalone  and @Maggie said earlier, the forums are a great place to meet people and the best thing is, someone is usually around most times so feel free to come on and chat. Look forward to seeing you soon!

Judi9877😊

[eth]

@Judi9877 @Bed101 @Dadcaringalone @Maggie   I'm not in Melbourne but really feel for those of you who are, or who have loved ones there.  The majority of my extended family are there but I'm only connected with a couple of them.  Several of them work in front-line health situations - surgeons, ent specialists, midwife etc - it amazes me how comitted to helping people they are.  

Tagging @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @CheerBear  in case you want to join this conversation.  You might also tag others you know are in Victoria.

[Dadcaringalone]

How's things going @Bed101?

Looks like the numbers are going down in Vic! Did I tell that I sent my daughter a comfort package? It's almost arrived. At least the post is still working.

Have an awesome day

[jamesle2015]

there must be a lot of people not sticking to 

the 5km rule....

[jamesle2015]

@Dadcaringalone @Bed101 @eth @Maggie I know of one case in Melbourne ...the Mother went for day surgery but after a couple of days she was ok ...the son lives about 20 minutes drive so not far...but more than 5km...he is married and has a 3 1/2 yr old boy...he went to his Mothers house everyday for the whole week and probably will keep visiting after that because his son was 'making too much noise'....he must have told the neighbours he was 'helping' his Mother ....his Mother still recovering but he doesn't wear mask when he visits and he keeps coughing ....this sort of thing must be happening a lot people not doing the right thing