Riding a wave

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear sadly today was a lay in bed under weighted blanket with turtle and just breathe day. Today has been so so so SO hard. However, it improved when TTT called at 3pm. I am SO grateful for her, Cheerbear. I am so eternally grateful for both her and my GP. They are going to get me through this. Both of them tell me that we are going to do this together. 

How was your day? What do you and the LF have planned for the weekend (if you want to/can share)?

@OhanaSystem super big thank you for your words of encouragement. 

[CheerBear]

Hey @Phoenix_Rising. My inside was telling me that today may have been a bed and breathing one and not a usual Friday fun one 🙁 I too am so grateful you have your GP and your TTT. The idea of you and them doing it together feels reassuring. I wish things were different and weren't so hard though. Things are hard enough without needing extra layers and extra harder added.

I've had a good day today thanks. My good benchmark is pretty low at the moment so it doesn't take much to have a good day. In saying that, the fish have been awesome today and are happy to be home, the weather has been ok, I played with yarn - it's good stuff in general.

Not sure about plans this weekend. I think the weather is supposed to be pretty nice and it would be great to sneak in another beach trip before it turns to winter weather. I had a house inspection letter arrive today so I should probably start some gardening etc for that. The highlight of my day today was that I felt absolutely nothing when the letter arrived. Yay for things that were once things now not being things because other things are so much things, I suppose 😉

Missing you on Friday nights especially. It's nice to see you tonight.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I miss you too @CheerBear - SO much. 

[CheerBear]

SO so much @Phoenix_Rising.

You know I'm still right here though? Even when it gets extra tricky and I'm here from here-but-not.

I'm going to do a bit of a heart spill one. Not too long ago, when things were mega extra giantly scary, I had really big missing you feelings. I made a Pinterest board all about missing people and I pinned a whole heap of (those sometimes really annoying) quotey picturey things. One of my favourites is one that says "I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen". No matter what happens, I will be thankful that adventures have happened. You've made a huge difference that I won't forget and that I am truly grateful for.

That's all really.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear that made me feel super warm and fuzzy. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

The heavy agony of grief and loss is sinking into my soul as Friday night progresses. I have giant missing CherryBomb feelings. I miss her SO much. I miss laughing. I miss feeling safe. I miss feeling a sense of connection and belonging. It has all gone and it is now agonizingly apparent that it isn't coming back. 

Never again. Never ever again. I will never ever ever let someone hurt me like this again. This was the last time. My shell is hardened. No one will hurt me again. 

Night Forum Land. 

[Zoe7]

I am so sorry that you are feeling like this @Phoenix_Rising - I soooooo wish you didn't 

Goodnight little turtle....

[CheerBear]

I am looking for something I can't find now. I feel very, very sad @Phoenix_Rising but I understand.

Do you remember a while ago we had a conversation about how sometimes people say things about forever and how it can be tricky to get our heads around because we can't know what forever looks like? And I said something about how sometimes people have such a big impact that I do believe that somewhere they will remain forever. That the good will be there for as long as a memory can possibly be. I know that would happen for me if it needed to.

Thank you for being you and for letting us get to know you.

Night.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I remember @CheerBear. We've got this, no matter what. You will remember the something you can't find won't you. No matter what.

[Shaz51]

sitting with you @Phoenix_Rising

and @Former-Member is here tooo xxoxo