Riding a wave

[Shaz51]

I can see a rabbit @Former-Member, @Phoenix_Rising

[OhanaSystem]

@Phoenix_Rising — Please don’t be sorry. We all have big storms sometimes. ❤️

I totally understand re crisis lines. I have had the same sort of experiences and tend not to call them myself, even when desperate. What, actually, is the HC, if it’s okay to ask?
The only crisis line I would consider calling at this point isn’t actually a crisis line, but the Blue Knot line. My own psychologist has called them (recently) and says they’re really kind and helpful. I’m still unsure about whether I WILL ever engage them, but it’s a maybe possibility that I’ll at least consider it.

[OhanaSystem]

I can see the rabbit and the turtle, but I also see a polar bear with an eagle on his back!

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Shaz51 A rabbit? Really? I can't see that one. Can you @Former-Member??? 

Now this one I can see a rabbit in. 

[Shaz51]

Ha ha looks like a horse to me @Phoenix_Rising, @Former-Member 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@OhanaSystem HC = the SANE helpline. Their number is 1800187263 and they are around 10am - 10pm Monday - Friday. They are a small team and thus you don't have that issue of getting someone different every time like you do with other helplines. They truly are awesome. 

I've never called Blue Knot because I know they work specifically with abuse stuff. As I mentioned the other night at Topic Tuesday, my actual abuse history now has far less impact on my life than the repeated retraumatization through MH services does. Thus I don't think Blue Knot would be particularly helpful for me. I do know that some others here in Forum Land have had very positive experiences with them though. I know they have an awesome website with heaps of useful information and resources regarding complex trauma. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

---

@Shaz51wrote:

Ha ha looks like a horse to me @Phoenix_Rising, @Former-Member 

---

Really @Shaz51? Well that's very odd. 

I wonder what @OhanaSystem can see in that one?

[Phoenix_Rising]

 I am starting to escalate again. I've been waiting all day for the next email to come, feeling totally on edge about whether it is going to be helpful or a bus. All day. I understand that things take time, but it's been three months. I am trying to stay alive here utterly alone. There is NO ONE I can pick up the phone and call. I follow the rules, I use the "appropriate channels," but no one responds. I feel so so so SO afraid and so utterly alone and so utterly utterly utterly utterly worthless. 

I do not matter,

I'm only one person,

Destroy me completely,

Then throw me away. 

[Appleblossom]

Dear @Phoenix_Rising Yes you are one person.

None of us here think you are worthless.

Reading about tulipomania atm.

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

A lot of people on this site behold YOU.

[Former-Member]

Hello @Phoenix_Rising I am floating with you 🙂 hearing you

My floaty matches you, can you see the resemblance?