Oscillation between two mind sets

[Former-Member]

Thanks heaps @creative_writer 💜🌺🫂

means a lot. 
im hoping today starts to feel better too 🌺

sounds like the pointy end of uni.. proof reading and tedious referencing takes a bunch of attention 🙂🌺

hope it goes well 💜

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member so sorry that I forgot to respond. I sometimes find it hard to keep up with notifications and forget. I’ve been awfully forgetful lately, uni stress isn’t helping. I hope you are doing okay today 💖🫂

I’m having it rougher tonight but was okay earlier today. I was distracted with uni, and having my lovely matchas to get through uni. I didn’t sleep well last night so started developing a migraine later today and feel utterly miserable. I’m having annoying body sensations on top of that

[Former-Member]

Hey there @creative_writer 🌺

it’s ok - never worry about delays in reply, life happens and the lesser amount of things worrying you the better 💜

I hope the last little while is going better for you? 
I’ve had a third session with a psychologist now, and she’s really nice, however the last session we just talked about stuff in general instead of getting to any EMDR stuff. 
she’s away for a month or so, so I guess we will pick it up sometime when she gets back. 
I hope you’re doing alright. 

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member happy to hear she is really nice. Therapists do need to assess when you’re ready for EMDR, there are steps they take before starting it.

I’m just a bit frustrated my brain isn’t braining right now

[Former-Member]

Thanks heaps @creative_writer  🙂

I think she didn't consider too much assessment prior to diving into EMDR; we just started straight away, after having a bit of discussion in the first appointment.  I think this last one time was taken up with discussing stuff associated with it, so we kind of ran out of time to do actual EMDR (but she had a horizontal light bar ready, so I guess that will be part of it in the future).

I hope youve been going ok, and able to do a bit more braining while uni stuff is still ongoing xx ❤️

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member it might be very individual, I find it hard to find safety, so my psych worked on what I can do to self regulate. I also have a tendency of disassociating when really stressed. Are you finding that EMDR is helping.

I honestly am relying on tea to get through uni, because it’s what helps me focus, I can’t brain without it

[creative_writer]

Can I just live in a cave, I don’t fear ending up alone. However, ending up lonely around people and this forever masking is tiring.

Maybe I’m thinking too much. Thinking about how talking about trauma went with my parents years ago. I felt like I was shut down and felt the need to keep it under the rug and tell nobody what happened. I did not talk for years, but I couldn’t take it anymore. Sometimes talking about trauma proves to be traumatic

[Former-Member]

Hey there @creative_writer 🌺🙂

thanks for sharing 🌺💜 I hope your doing ok today..? 🫂

Sounds hard when things get stressful…I hope the techniques from your psychologist are helpful in a practical way for you 🙂

I’m hoping the EMDR becomes helpful - we haven’t done actual therapy yet; just all the setup and learning about it in these last few appointments. 
hopefully next appointment when she gets back after her break in around 5-6 weeks we can get into it, and I’ll catch you up on how it goes then, if you’d like 🌺🙂

the matcha tea sounds very interesting.. I haven’t had it before. I’m so glad it helps you with braining through the day…it’s so important to have some function to get things done isn’t it..you’re an inspiration in how much you face yet you still keep going 🫂💜🌺🙂

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member I don’t really feel like I do much though. I only really brain the best in the morning.

I hope the EMDR works out for you, I know it helped me. It’s amazing how much we hold within ourselves. The set up is really important, my psych would check in with me before going ahead with it. It can be intensive and can sometimes bring up stuff afterwards. It’s just the natural process of healing 💖🫂

[Former-Member]

Yeah, that makes sense @creative_writer  re feeling like that 🙂🌺 ..however, getting stuff done is still getting stuff done, and that’s still an achievement, I tend to think 💜🙂🌺

I admire the ability to brain in the morning! That would be definitely on my wish list ☺️👌🏻

That’s great to hear EMDR helped, and thanks heaps for sharing what it was like for you - that’s super helpful 💜🙂🤗

I already have the sense that even discussing that the memories will be somehow processed has brought them closer to my thoughts during the days, and during the days some memories are randomly bumping up against what I’m trying to do..

it’s ok though, I’ve had lots of ptsd over decades so these little increases are not causing any significant distress 💜🌺🙂

I hope your evening is going well sweetheart 🫂🌺😊