Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

Ah okay @ENKELI 

What are you doing for dinner? 

Did you get that ice cream?

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 lol it's only 1pm here, I haven't even thought about dinner! I might see if I have some chicken and make korma or I think I have some chicken Kiev in the freezer so maybe them with mixed vegetables and mash.

No I haven't gone to the shop, I took my bro to the bike shop to get his bike tyre replaced and saw a bike there that I want so I'm going to save up for it and hope it's still there when I have the money!

I'm just doing my diamond painting now and watching Netflix 

[Birdofparadise8]

Okay, that sounds nice @ENKELI 

Bike riding is so fun. 

What season are you on?

[Birdofparadise8]

I'll be back in a bit I'm at the pool @ENKELI 

Will you be around later tonight? 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 I forgot to say plus I have a 4 litre tub of Neapolitan ice cream in the freezer.

I'm on season 7, the last season, first ep.

Bike riding IS fun, plus it will be exercise which I can definitely use.

Enjoy the pool, I'll be around, got my tablet with me and it alerts me when I get new mail.

Talk later x

[Birdofparadise8]

Oh lol how did you get such a big tub? 

Enjoy the tv and art. 

There are swimming lessons here and squad training so not many lanes are free. 

@ENKELI 

[Former-Member]

Hey there @Birdofparadise8 🌺🙂

sorry for the delay - it’s been a busy day here in old lady land 😉🌺

I’m so very sorry this level of utter marginalisation happened to you - the feelings that come with such broad rejection are so overwhelming, and I can totally understand why as a young lady you’d feel you were to blame - this is what happens when we can’t find the solution to why people hurt us when we are young I believe, especially when it relates to bullying. We think it must be our fault. However I think this is a time to kindly and gently say to you that you are not, never have been, and never will be responsible for the actions and behaviours of others 💜🌺

And, when it comes to why people do the things they do, often times it doesn’t make sense, and has no rhyme or reason, leaving us with a sense of deep confusion and uncertainty because we have a strong need to find out why, so we can change something within ourselves that would then prevent the bullying. 
At least, that’s how it felt to me, dearest 💜🌺🙂

The logistics of bullying also come into play, as you’ve mentioned too..nobody turning up to birthdays, not having people around because of the lack of those friendships being developed at school ❤️‍🩹🌺

Making new friends is hard, especially if there are those residual feelings that we were somehow to blame for the bullying. 
I am hoping this gives you more insight into the thoughts and feelings I have around bullying - please do ask questions if you’d like to…but the main thing is, I’d like for you to know that you have value, and are a wonderful young person full of potential, despite sometimes not feeling that way 💜🙂🌺

[Birdofparadise8]

You made me laugh then, "old lady land." @Former-Member 

"However I think this is a time to kindly and gently say to you that you are not, never have been, and never will be responsible for the actions and behaviours of others."

How did you overcome it so you could believe these things? I don't know how I ever could. I feel like it's all ingrained in me. It was only in the first few years of my life that I didn't have any bullying. Then, after school, at 18, I went to uni, and the depression set in, so I've been battling with my mind since I was five.

That's so true. I try to think of so many ways as to why it was my fault and things to change so people wouldn't bully me. 

Aww @PinkFlamingo, you are so kind. 

One other question: what's the meaning of your forum name? 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 sorry for the delay, I didn't get a notification of your reply.

Coles sells their own brand of ice cream in 4l tubs for $7 so I thought if it's really awful I'll give the vanilla to my cats and make my brother eat the rest! LOL! But fortunately it's better than I expected, nice and creamy. It's not Bulla but it will do.

Shame about the pool, the more I think about it the more I want to buy the bike. I might see if I can put a deposit on it and lay-by it. Then when the local aquatic centre opens again I can ride there, do the gym and swim, then ride home. Well that's the plan anyway!

What are you doing for dinner?

[Birdofparadise8]

Sorry @ENKELI 

We won't be able to talk about that. I shouldn't have said anything. 

So the ice cream wasn't too bad then?