Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @Snowie 

Are you looking forward to Carlton playing tonight?

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Birdofparadise8 🙂

It makes complete sense, and feeling the way you do is completely valid. It sounds like you genuinely care about your roommate and want to maintain a positive atmosphere in your living space.

I can relate to being hyper-aware of other people's body language, but it's important to remember that you're not responsible for your roommate's mood or behavior. Everyone has their own struggles and bad days, and sometimes, those emotions can unintentionally spill over into interactions with others. Perhaps they had a rough night's sleep, are dealing with stress, or simply woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

If your roommate consistently affects your mood and makes you upset, it's okay to take a step back and focus on creating a positive environment for yourself. You can still be friendly and supportive, but it's okay to prioritise your own mental health.

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @lavenderhaze 

Yes, I do. I don't really want to hear her yelling on the phone. 

After I posted that, she was in the kitchen yelling at her dad, and I went out to ask if she was okay, but she didn't say much. She then went into her room and started yelling at her mum. On the phone, by the way. 

That's made me feel even worse now. I don't like it when people yell. 

'If your roommate consistently affects your mood and makes you upset, it's okay to take a step back and focus on creating a positive environment for yourself. You can still be friendly and supportive, but it's okay to prioritise your own mental health'. 

How would that work?

Ahh, I wish it didn't make me feel sad and upset. I don't understand why. Like I've only known her since the end of jan/feb. It's upsetting she is yelling, but what I'm getting at is how it makes me feel upset but not directly at her. 

[lavenderhaze]

I hear you, @Birdofparadise8. Yelling can be incredibly jarring and unsettling, and it's understandable that it would make you feel sad and upset, even if it's not directed at you personally.

In my own experiences, I've found that being around yelling or conflict can trigger a range of emotions, from discomfort to anxiety and even sadness. It's not uncommon for our past experiences to influence how we react to these situations. 

Sometimes, things are out of our control. Like, you may not have control over your roommate's behavior or the situation at hand. At those times, what works for me is to set boundaries to protect my mental health, whether that means finding ways to remove myself from the situation temporarily or practicing some self-care to manage my emotions. This might involve engaging in activities that bring you comfort, seeking support from the community, or going for a walk.

If this is a regular occurrence that is significantly affecting you, it's also worth considering having a gentle and honest conversation with your roommate about how their yelling affects you. They may not even be aware of their behavior's impact on you.

[Birdofparadise8]

Okay, thank you for that @lavenderhaze 

I will keep that in ming. 

It can be hard to distance myself as the walls are quite thin, so I can still hear her yelling, but it's stopped now, so that's good. 

My parents are coming from Hobart, so I hope when she comes out, or if she does, she won't be angry or feel whatever it is she is feeling. 

So it's okay that her behaviour is making me upset. 

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8 💖🫂

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 hi there.

I'll answer the roommate question first.

Personally I don't think it's personal, she is probably a person who needs time to wake up before she is ready to have a conversation.

I know myself that if I've had a late night I need time before I am capable of conversation and can sound quite grumpy if I am spoken to before I'm awake.

You're a sensitive soul and take things personally which is understandable given your bullying history but in this case I think you need to just accept she's not a cheery person when first waking up 😍 

[Birdofparadise8]

Oh yeah I know it wasn’t personal she mentioned later that she has to get a blood test and was angry at her parents about it. 
I do think it was more than just waking up though. 
Am I a sensitive person? I don’t like that word. Mum says how people at work the ‘young ones’ are sensitive. I also know others who say it too. 
I hope it’s not a bad thing @ENKELI 

Thank you @creative_writer 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 hello again 😊

Glad you slept well. did you find a good recipe for the icing?

I don't find the forum because I don't find it beneficial? Lol My memory is shot because I don't remember saying that, but I'm not doubting you at all.

I'm not sure why I said it, I've been trying to think of an explanation but can't. I'll keep thinking on it and get back to you though

[Snowie]

Hi @Birdofparadise8 

Will be watching the game tonight. Will try and stay awake for all of it!

I hope you are having a good day.