Not Coping

[bartart23]

Aww @ENKELI  your kind and I am in QLD moving to Sydney or wa 

No I don't have support at all it's okay  

ATM I am non binary no sex as I go by 

I really wanna do transgender   

I am just all over the place 😞 I am fucked  everyone's going to leave me  maybe I should leave first 

[ENKELI]

@bartart23 I can tell you that not everyone is going to leave you but I know myself that words often don't make a difference.

Where would you have the most support? NSW or WA? 
When you say you really want to do transgender what do you mean by that? 

You have every right to be all over the place, you are going through so much it's no wonder. I am amazed at how strong you are, I don't' know that I would be.

I know we don't know each other that well but I would miss you if I didn't get to chat with you.

I wish I could do more for you, I hate that you are hurting so much 😪

[bartart23]

Honestly @ENKELI  I am still working myself out I don't identify as a boy or girl 

But i want to be different sex then what I am now sorry it's all confusing 

I might talk to j person or whoever understands.it 

I don't know what to do anymore I am lost  I am at breaking point 

I wanna smash something or trash the house  I don't deserve anything

I am a evil person 

[ENKELI]

Have you tried that Queer forum @Jynx mentioned?

You definitely need to find someone to talk to who is safe and won't judge you or tell you to take pills.

I am going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers too.

I know what you mean about wanting to smash something, I was feeling like that earlier. I had to take medication but that's not an answer for everyone. 

You are not evil, you are reacting to a really tough situation. Are you safe? Beyond Blue has 24/7 helpline and online chats - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support if you need to talk to someone.
I will be around for a while too.

You are ENOUGH

[bartart23]

Yes @ENKELI  I did talk to them that qeer thing it was confusing I panicked when I told them my sexuality so I hung up  

Because so many people have judge me I get scared of opening up about it 

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything 😐 

I am screaming and crying  I am mentally sick I am just done with MH and voices and bpd 

[ENKELI]

It can be scary. I have opened up more on the forums here than I ever would have on the phone. 

Do you think maybe writing down what you want to say might help just to start the conversation?

Maybe just say something like "hi, I'm confused, I don't know who to talk to but I need help. I'm confused about my sexuality and I would really like someone to listen to me."

I am worried about you my friend😞

[bartart23]

I could I just don't know yet
Why are you worried about me?

[bartart23]

I am just not coping well I'm tired of everything and the thing is I am always happy when I talk to others because I never want to hurt or upset them

Sorry you are worried nobody has been worried about me for a long time 😔

[ENKELI]

@bartart23 because you are a person of value and you deserve peace from the chaos and nightmare that is BPD. 

[ENKELI]

don't apologise, it's nice to have someone to worry about if that makes any sense.
I wish I could stay up longer but I am really tired.
Look after yourself, I will be around later in the morning and I'm sure @Jynx will be too.

I hope you manage to get a good sleep x