Need to vent

[MDT]

@BlueBay 🙂

[Eve7]

Hey @BlueBay  you’re a step ahead of me as I have nothing wrapped and one arm in your plaster.

I also have a cyst on my pancreas that is checked every year by gastroscopy....so far that’s all it is...a cyst.

Hugs

💙🤗💙🤗💙🤗💙

[BlueBay]

Hi @Eve7  thanks for your reply. Do you have pain with your cyst? 
Just finished dinner chicken toast potatoes and veggies. 
I'm really tired and my upper stomach hurts. Just took a tablet. 
have you had dinner? 
Quiet night for me 

[Eve7]

Hi @BlueBay 

no, I don’t have pain from it and I don’t have my gall bladder now.

The cyst was only discovered when I had an ultrasound of my liver when enzymes were up.

Ive just had Thai tonight. I am careful with what I eat as I am terrified of having that pain again in upper stomach. I also never have analgesia of any kind on an empty stomach.

[BlueBay]

I love Thai food @Eve7 

Yeah I'm worried that these bad attacks will come back. When I think back I've had these attacks a lot over the past prob two years. My doctor keeps telling me it's gastritis. 
I'm so glad I went back to hodpital on Sunday and they did an ultrasound which picked up the dilation of pancreatic duct. 

I also have to be careful snd eat really slow otherwise I have trouble digesting. 

enjoy your night @Eve7 xx

[BlueBay]

Hi everyone @Eve7 @MDT @Maggie @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Emelia8  and others 

I need to vent - if you don't want to read it's okay

I am feeling hopeless and every other negative word under the sun today  😞

I saw my GP this morning and he told me that a lot of my gut issues is from my mental health

He agrees that I was in pain but he doesn't understand why I had all these tests/scans done

He feels that I don't need this second gastrocope done as it won't show anything substantial/serious

He says that i need to focus/change my negative thinking to positive - easier said than done

He said I need to eat only fruit, vegies and meat or chicken or fish - no biscuits, chips etc as I have a fatty liver

He also said that i am under 'too many doctors/specialists' which is not good for my mental health as I am focussing too much on things

i need to walk more daily to lose weight

So after leaving his rooms - I cancelled my apt with the physio for my hips

I cancelled my appt with the consultant phsycian who my psych referred me to (my psych told my GP in a letter that I am seeing too many medical professionals but he is the one who referred me to see this guy)

I am seeing my cardiologist this afternoon but will tell him that i don't want any tests for now and see how i go with the laughing/near fainting.  I know it will still happen but there is really nothing they can do, so he told me last time.

I was in tears in his rooms this morning, telling him that my stomach pains were bad this morning.  He reassured me that it's nothing serious. he told me that the strong pain meds that i was given are really bad for your body and have really constipated my bowel last week, hence the pains. 

I am so confused, overwhelmed and don't know what to do anymore.  Work is angry with me sending me a msg this morning because i forgot to let them know i wasn't going in today.  so they're not happy.

I just don't know anymore, i know what my GP is saying is mostly right.  I need to get my stupid automatic negative head around into thinking more positive. 

I just don't know 

i feel so useless today 😞  😞

[BlueBay]

thinking of going away

it's just too much

life shouldn't be so hard yet it is

mental illness is bloody too hard

i'm not copping out - it's just i;m too overwhelmed today

not good being home alone

i am sorry i really can't think 

i just want to be believed and validated

[MDT]

Its a lot to take in @BlueBay and perhaps some more too

What can you do for the rest of the day ?

[Emelia8]

I know @BlueBay ... its just so hard sometimes. 😔💖

Its unfortunate you're at home on your own right now. Perhaps you could go out for a nice coffee or something?

Home alone? Gosh however did you manage that with the 'crowded house' or 'packed to the rafters' situation at your place? 😄  Are you aware how many times you've craved some time to yourself over the past year? Can you find something to try and make the most of this rare opportunity?  💞

Sending love.

Emelia 🌸

[BlueBay]

@Emelia8 @MDT 

I'm having a coffee, its raining here so not going outside

I really can't be stuffed anymore

change your ways, change your views, change your attitude, change this, change that  - that is all i hear

I am sorry i don't mean to be so angry. I'm going.