My special place

[Jynx]

Ooooh ty for the recommend @Snowie!! I will add it to the list!! I'm back on a fantasy kick at the moment, but when my brain is ready for more emotional intensity I'll give it a whirl 😊

I  do believe there are a couple of book club threads, not sure how active they are but feel free to pick one and re-ignite it!

Book Club Thread

Book Club

BPD Book Club

[rav3n]

welcome back @Snowie !!! so good to hear from you, i'm really glad you enjoyed your trip!!! 💜

oh wow heated footpaths and roads!? gosh i can't wait to visit Japan one day, love how innovative they are about these stuff. oo never heard of a powder tour before, sounds interesting! hopefully the next time you visit it'll be a lil less hectic (and ofc hopefully you get to see Disneyland!!)

yikes!! the lost luggage stuff is so stressful, happened to my dad once. thankfully he did get it back within a few days so fingers crossed you get yours tomorrow! what sort of stuff did you buy for your kids? oo and i see you had some time to read a couple books too yay!!

p.s. in case you were wondering why i've just edited the number of steps out of your post, it's because it breaches the 'limit detailed descriptions' guidelines (this is just to prevent potentially upsetting/triggering vulnerable community members) - if you have any questions/concerns about this edit, feel free to let me know!

[outlander]

wow your holiday sounds awesome @Snowie

i lovethat you went to the snow for so long. so picturesque

id love to go to new zealand in the winter months. ive seen pictures of the mountain ranges and its stunning.

i hope you get your luggage back! there would be alot of memories in there!
urgh reality sucks but its nice while it lasted!

[Shaz51]

welcome back @Snowie my sister 

sounds like a wonderful holiday 😍

[Snowie]

Thanks @Shaz51 @outlander Sleeping in my own bed last night was bliss!!

Got my luggage back just before. Now to unpack and do some more washing!!

@rav3n the powder tour just taught us how to ski in snow powder. You ski and can't see from your thighs down. You just sink right into the snow.

I brought the kids just some souvenirs. A t-shirt each and a few little trinkets. Plus some different foods that you can't get here. 

[Snowie]

It feels like I haven't been away.

Mum had a big fight with her sister. Told me the whole story. Not speaking to her at the moment.

She doesn't want to go through the whole process of taking a driving test so is giving up her license. Means a lot more pressure for me.

Said my brother will take her car. Got pissed off at me when I said he needs to pay for it. Last time he just took my Dads car with even giving her some money for it. 

Told me she can't cope with me being away again. Made me feel guilty for going.

Told me what she wants to do to herself. 

Had to go to centerlink this morning to work out her pension as they suspended it. Spent another hour on the phone trying to work out the problem. Hoping I have fixed it.

Her ipad stopped working. Had to get her a new charger. Hoping that's the only issue with it.

Took her to the supermarket.

Spoke to someone from my aged care. Have applied for a package but that can take up to 6 months for it to be approved.

Got told again she didn't cope with me being away and that she will have to go into a home if I go away again.

She has gp tomorrow and an eye appointment Friday. Both that I have to take her to.

Reality sucks.

[outlander]

im glad you got your luggage back. @Snowie

[Snowie]

Mum sat me down today and told H and I that she has decided to go into the aged care home.

She says one of the main reasons is losing her independence and not wanting to rely on me for everything. She also says another reason is being on her own and having no one around to talk. She feels extremely lonely.

I know I complain about her but at the same time I feel like I am one of the reasons she wants to go in. Have I not given her enough support. Have I not been there enough for her.

She (and my Dad) has lived with us for around 20 years. Whilst she has always had her own space, she is still just a few steps away.

I can't stop the tears, even though I know this is the best thing for her. So many emotions running through my head.

Sleep since I got home hasn't been good. So tired yet can't sleep. Too much happening in my head.

[tyme]

Awww hun @Snowie . I hear this is hard to hear. At the same time, like what you said, it is probably what's best for her and you.

In a way, I am glad she was able to have the independence to make the choice. It will make the transition easier for her and perhaps she will enjoy being around others there too.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. I recognise it will take some time to transition. Know we are here to support you all the way.

[Snowie]

Thanks @tyme 

I know it is probably best for her, and for her to make the decision is better than not having a choice.

It will still take awhile. You can't just decide to go into care. It has to be approved, a service referral code and all this jargon, even going into private care. Learning that our health care system really is stuffed and everything is a wait.

Even to get her to Level 2 Care (she is on level 1 atm) can take 9-12 months to get approved.