My special place

[Snowie]

Not sure where to post this @tyme 

Hope you are feeling a bit better today. I know you did have a wedding on, but hoping you looked after yourself first, regardless of whether you went or not.

Take care xoxo

[tyme]

Hey @Snowie ,

Yes, I went to part of the wedding. I didn't move from the chair or go near any kids. I had to tell peopel not to touch me if they wanted a hug, and there were lots of people from interstate at the wedding who wanted to give me a hug lol.

Oh well. It's getting better. Just a few painful areas.

How are you @Snowie ? How have you been managing? I've been concerned about you because I know things have been hard.

[Snowie]

Glad you got to go to the wedding @tyme Or at least some of it.

I'm sure it was a lovely day.

I would love that, not having to give people hugs!!

Things here aren't going well. So many hoops to jump through with mum. People forget that I haven't been through this either. It's all new to me too.

Constantly on edge, anxiety provoking, doing things I shouldn't, my thoughts continue to increase. 

If I could run I would. Just disappear. 

[tyme]

Awww hun @Snowie ,

It sounds like what's happening for your mum is huge for you. Is she still at home or has she moved yet? I'm sorry if I haven't been up to date. 

Transitions can be so stressful. Not just for the person, but those around them. 

Do you think this is still the feeling of guilt, or is it just the pressure of everything that is happening?

Hugs to you @Snowie 

[Shaz51]

hugs my @Snowie ❤️

thinking of you lots xxx

[Snowie]

@tyme she hasn't moved yet. We need to get approval to move to the nursing home. We have an appointment next Thursday with Aged Care to get the approval. Once we have that (which can take awhile), we can then enquire to see if the nursing home has vacancies. 

Then she is going to go in for a 2 week respite to see if she likes it before moving there.

Once again, got in trouble for it taking so long even though it is out of my control.

If she doesn't go there then I don't know what will happen. I guess it will all be back onto me. My brother is useless. I'm scared of that happening and what I'd do to myself.

There is a lot going on that I'm not dealing with. My own MH is going downhill. My flashbacks have increased, my sleep is crap. I'm even having to change my MH appts just to deal with her appt's.

I just don't want to play this game any longer.

[Snowie]

Thanks @Shaz51 

How have you been?

[tyme]

My dear @Snowie , I'm sorry to hear it is everywhere at the moment. So much uncertainty can be so debilitating. 

I know how much you do to hang in there, and sometimes, when it's just too much, others need to carry us through. Do you feel you are at this point yet? Or does duty mean you have to stay safe?

I 'feel' what you are experiencing. It brings back memories when I was in a similar place of such intense uncertainty. 

We are sitting with you and holding your hand.

[Snowie]

At this point it is just trying to stay safe @tyme I've spoken to scbs and LL a few times to try and get some help. Try and been able to control my thoughts. Lately I wake up disappointed that I woke up.

Last appointment my pdoc mentioned being admitted and increasing ect. 

I contacted Alzheimer's Australia too but they weren't much help. They said I just need to wait to get her more help. Everything is a wait. She is on Level 1 help atm. We have applied for Level 2 help but that could take over 8 months to get approved. By that stage, she'll probably needing Level 3 help. It just doesn't end.