My Mosaic

[tyme]

LOL @Bow . You know me well.

To be honest, I can't help but pop in to do things on the forums here and there even when I'm on leave. The forums are my life, so it's hard to separate it and treat it as 'work'. 

But the other thing is, I still haven't fully recovered from shingles. Then after shingles, I developed a bad infection and am still on very strong antibiotics. I passed out twice and hit my face and back... so still de-bruising at the moment. 

Nothing to worry about. I'm just glad to be here.

[Bow]

Oh that doesn’t sound good at all @tyme maybe your bodies way of stay STOP. REST? 

I had a pretty rough last week. Absolutely horrible appointment with my psychologist. 

but mum got home today with my brother 

[tyme]

Who knows @Bow ? Maybe. It's just an inconvenient time to get sick lol... what a shame you can't choose when to be sick.

I'm sorry to hear about your psych appointment that didn't go too well. I'm here if you want to talk about it. It sounds like a lot has been happening for you, but you've tried to keep busy where you can. I'm guessing it's now about transitioning again since your mum has returned?

Also, with your brother???! Does that mean he will be staying with you too? How do you feel about it all? I know how unwell he is.

[Bow]

Oh yeah we so often get sick at the most inconvenient times @tyme 

My appointment was heaps invalidating, she completely dismissed the scary and concerning symptoms I have been experiencing… one of which is why I missed my appointment the week before, and she wanted to focus just on why I withdraw, what it looks like etc etc. I also had the opportunity to bring up how frustrated I feel about not being allowed to write stuff down… and she said who said I wasn’t allowed? Given that I started the appointment with trying to give her something I had written and she said no!! 🤬🤬

so yep. I’m still not doing ok. 

yeah I guess a bit of a transition now that mum is home. And yes, my brother came back with her. He got the all ok to come up here by his oncologist. Just for 2 weeks. Then mum will go with him back to Melbourne to make sure he gets on the boat ok. 

I mean it’s good that he is here. Haven’t seen him for a couple of years. But there is trauma history there that I haven’t really spoken to anyone about. So it is hard. It’s triggering. 

[tyme]

I'm sorry to hear how invalidating the appointment was for you @Bow . Were you able to let them know?

Sometimes, after appointments that haven't gone so well, I get upset with myself for not speaking up. Then I have to remember that they are not mindreaders. Actually, as I write this, I'm sort of smiling because I can imagine you being assertive and answering your psych, "Well I can't write anything because you just refused to read what I wrote!"

I wonder how long it will take them to undrstand that not EVERYONE is a talker and that some are better at writing than speaking. 

As for your brother, I was thinking it may bring it's own challenges. I hope his company goes smoothly these two weeks. I'm glad to hear your mum is able to support him. I take my hat off to her. 

Please take care of yourself.

[Bow]

@Jynx  you around?

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Bow Jynx isn't on at the moment but I'm here if you want to chat 🙂

[Bow]

Had a real intense GP appointment today @Ru-bee  come away rather distressed

[Ru-bee]

Do you want to talk about it @Bow? Or we could have some distraction chats, or I could just sit with you here. Whatever you need 

[Bow]

I hadn’t seen my GP since before Christmas @Ru-bee  so it was well overdue cause I usually see her like monthly. So lots to catch up on. My SW came with me too. 

My GP is very thorough. Probably a bit too over thorough. But she asked how my MH had been and I told her it ain’t been great. Told her Jan and Feb are difficult months and that unlike previous years things haven’t really picked up. Told her about my recent episodes of dissociation and she was heaps concerned (unlike my psychologist). She wants me to have an mri, a heap of bloods and to see a neurologist. 

I walked away needing to do the following; bloods, MRI or a CT scan if I can’t get the mri bulk billed, chase up the neurologist appointment, chase up my gynae appointment, pelvic ultrasound, X-ray and ultrasound on my shoulder. Oh and she said I can’t drive! 🤬🤬🤬😢😢😢😢

my psychologist wasn’t much concerned about me driving. I don’t have any concerns about driving. Take my driving away you take my independence and I’ll guarantee there will be a significant decline in my mh. My SW also didn’t say anything about me driving after the appointment either. 
@Jynx