My Mosaic

[Jynx]

@Bow maybe another day we can chat about it, cos I promise it won't be stupid - even if it feels like it is, it's obviously affecting you! 

Ach, nooooo a crapfest of a day then. Boooo! Like can the universe chill for a bit!

What you doing with yourself now? Distraction time?

[Bow]

Just laying in bed looking at the ceiling @Jynx to be honest. 

I had numerous panic attacks getting myself to different appointments today- bloods and psych. Then once I got myself into my psych appointment I had a big trippy dissociation. Happening a lot. SH a lot. Risky I don’t care thinking and behaviors. She called someone else in to talk too and they wanted to admit cause I am so unstable atm. 
it’s terrifying being in that position. No control

im not ok. Scared and don’t feel safe

[Jynx]

@Bow You got so much goin on hun, and sounds like today kinda brought it all to a head. And then the question... do you take yourself in to hospital, so then it's your decision, you're in control; or do you keep on keeping on in hopes that you can manage to avoid it? 

Not saying you gotta have an answer for me!! Just wanna acknowledge the trickiness of what you're dealing with. 

OH! Before I forget, I should tell you! And you @Snowie if you're hanging about! 

Just wanted to let you know that I will be away next week. It's my bday on the 25th and I have taken a bit of time off for some adventures! I'll be back on Monday 3rd March! Aww gonna miss y'all tho 🥺

[Bow]

Can’t be in hospital @Jynx  too inconvenient to everyone. Just have to suck it all up. Psych wants to do either exposure therapy or EMDR or whatever it’s called. 

Other option would be easier all round 

😩

hope you enjoy your time off. Happy birthday 

[Jynx]

@Bow oh EMDR!! I was talking to my cousin recently, they were telling me how amazing it was for them! Cos the whole thing with trauma memory is that it is stored differently in our brains, so they sorta said this method allowws us to literally change the trauma memories into narrative memories, i.e. process them to allow us to move forward. I am legit thinking of exploring it for myself, it might be amazing for you hun! 

Thanks so much. I will think of my forums fam often!! I always do. (Do you know how hard it is sometimes to not randomly log in outside of my hours just to send a meme or random thought? LOL you'd be sick of me by now!) 

I know that it is all very dark for you right now darlin. I'm with you in spirit, all the way yeah? Got my glowsticks out, and cuddles at the ready always 😉💜 Nighty night hun

[tyme]

Heya @Bow ,

What's happening on your side? Thinking of you.

[Bow]

Lots @tyme  not in a good way. But won’t repeat myself. Said most a bit back 

sorry

hope your ok

[tyme]

Don't be sorry @Bow . Totally okay on my side. Hope things improve for you. Will catch you tomorrow. 

[Snowie]

Happy Birthday for the 25th @Jynx I hope your time off is enjoyable

@Bow just leaving some 💗💗 and hugs here hon. Thinking of you

[Bow]

Hey @Snowie  thank you

im having a crummy day. Woke up feeling rather unwell. So haven’t really done much today. On my bed watching tv, did a bit of Lego and a bit of craft. Tired 

see my psychologist has suggested EMDR for me. Apparently they all did some training in it last year.