Maybe a narcissist

[Ashley8]

Maybe a narcissist?

i’ve been reading about narcissism and I think perhaps my daughter has it she shows no emotions towards me everything is all about her she verbally abuses her children in front of me which breaks my heart when I look in their eyes young teenagers this affects them terribly I’m sure. I struggle on a daily basis with her they will abuse as I know she can’t help her mental condition but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life and it’s a challenge that gets me down most days

[tyme]

Hi @Ashley8 ,

Welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry to hear what is happening with your daughter and her children. 

Does she have any supports? Does she recognise that something may not be working?

As for yourself, do you have supports for yourself? It is important you have supports to keep you afloat. These may be professional supports or friends/family.

I'm listening.

tyme

[Ashley8]

Thank you Tyme for responding to my problem my daughter has work support colleagues but I don’t think she talks about her issues I have only have my partner and of course sane now it is very difficult on a daily basis I have mentioned that Counselling would be good for her My daughter is extremely challenging I worry for her children, I worry for her and I worry for myself. I know that’s a lot of worrying but I do try to push on with life as best I can thank you once again for your kind reply and support. Ashley8

[Kotori]

Hi @Ashley8, I myself had a narcissistic mother and your grandchildren are so lucky to have you. I wish I had a help then... Even if it is not a physical abuse, it can cause the same degree of damage to a child. I don't blame my mother now because my mother also needed a help. I hope you can find some professionals who can save your grandchildren.

[amber22]

Hi there @Ashley8 

Thank you for sharing this and letting us on the forums know how you are feeling about this situation right now. I just wanted to point out how lucky your daughter is to have a mother that is so aware yet non-judgmental over how she is behaving, and your grandchildren are so lucky for that same reason as well. You should be really proud of yourself for being able to see that these behaviours may not be beneficial for your daughter and may be hurting your grandchildren and causing them to experience things that they should not. 

Is there someone that your daughter could see to support her? Maybe you could even go with her to see someone as this may bring a bit of awareness to her and the situation, without feeling as if she is on her own. In saying this, please be aware that you need to put yourself first in this situation and look after yourself. It is so lovely that you are so caring about it, but I would hate to see your own mental health being impacted due to this situation, so please reach out to any extra support that you also need, and we are here on the forums for you always too. ❤️

Thank you for reaching out, 

All the best, 

Amber22

[Ashley8]

Thankyou so much Amber 22 for your kind and supportive reply to my problem. Some days my heart aches and I feel powerless to help my daughter or protect my grandchildren 😢 I do try to take care of myself as best I can however at my age sometimes it takes its toll. My health suffers as stress I hear he’s not good for one. I read all I can on NPD and BPD and I can tick the boxes that they ask. However it doesn’t get me any closer to helping her with this disorder and she insists she doesn’t need counselling and that I do. Anyways it’s nice to hear from people like yourself Amber 22  and good to know that I have support should I need it thank you very much once again. 

[Former-Member]

@Ashley8 hii, nice to meet you! 

Just a quick tip for the forums. If you write "@" and them someones name, they will get a notification that you've responded. For example @amber22, I think @Ashley8 has a message for you ❤️  

[amber22]

You're so welcome, I'm here for you if you need and so many others on the forums here are too, you shouldn't feel alone in anything you have to go through, especially this! 

You are being such a great grandmother and mother to the people in your life and I am so sorry that it is taking a toll on you. Please remember to take care of yourself and to seek help professionally if you need it. It is really difficult to navigate when you are trying to help someone you love and care about and they don't want to accept the help. This is when taking care of ourselves is most necessary. 

Sending hugs, 

Amber22

[Joonbug]

Hi @Ashley8 

My husband presents as a narcissist. He has been diagnosed with STPD, what I have learned is that many forms of mental health, and even neuro divergence (like Asperger's) in fact have the same traits for the person they are affecting. They are all different issues but for the carer the symptoms are often listed the same way.

I do hope you and your daughter get help.