Looking for support

[SallyBowles]

I am 65. My family have been plagued with mental health issues, notably schizophrenia, bi polar and depression. My grandfather, uncle and brother took their own lives. My siblings have the above disorders and are ongoing still late in life, all lapse semi-regularly into psychosis. My mother suffered from severe untreated depression until her death. My son who is nearing 40 seems to have it as well. He says he finds no joy in life. I see all the signs and have done for awhile but feel powerless to do anything as I'm sad and exhausted from watching it my whole life. He is seeking the help of a psychologist but says it's not helping and he won't take anti depressants as he says they make him feel worse. My siblings are long term marijuana users and I believe my son uses it from time to time and even though I warned him when he was young about possible psychosis he still smoked. Can anyone recommend a book or give me some ideas about how to cope as the constant worry is eating me alive. Thanks in advance.

[Appleblossom]

Hello @SallyBowles 

Do you have any creative outlets?  Your son must have had some to be able to even get to the point of developing a business plan.  Creativity for me is more than arts and crafts but they can be relevant too.

I use music to help me @SallyBowles 

Also reframing my internal narrative.  It is delicate and tricky.

Without denying the mental illness and grief load, I am finding a way to speak and be authentic.

Remembering some of the positives in my loved ones who have passed.  Generally socially people simply cannot cope with hearing my story in blunt terms.  I am recognising it is an acknowledgment of the huge degree of trauma. I had to withdraw and lick my wounds in my woman cave for a long time.  

https://www.sarahwilson.com/books/first-make-beast-beautiful/ 

The Dulwich centre was where founder of Narrative Therapy began.  They also run a courses like ...

https://dulwichcentre.com.au/the-tree-of-life/ 

[Former-Member]

Hi @SallyBowles @Appleblossom 

I am similar age. I will suggest a book when all hope is gone. I do not want to offend anyone with my choice. I suggest gping to a Pentecostal  church and finding bible verses appropriate.

Learn to surrender the many issues and pray.

It worked for me.

I do hope no bad backlash.

It is not for everyone.

The bible is my daily book now.

Some things we cannot change. We can change ourselves.

I hope you can find peace. There is no magic pill. Bible verses may help. 

[SallyBowles]

Sorry but the last thing I need is a Bible. My siblings had many bibles and quoted from them endlessly. If God was a truly loving God he would have helped them. Religion is just blind faith.

[Former-Member]

Hi @SallyBowles 

I was careful saying it but l did.

It is not for everyone

No offence meant. I cannot find my reply so l do hope other than the bible part, there is somethjng that helps.

I do not want to offend.

Thanks for your polite reply.

[DizzyLizzy99]

I can clearly see you do stop worrying. Alot of folk are looking elsewhere in their culture but I agree some very good reading and some I find not so

[Aura]

I'm sorry to hear you have had these experiences. I can see how this has exhausted you emotionally. I feel your son's addiction to marijuana is something that is out of your control. He is receiving help which is a positive thing. Have you considered looking into books or resources around the therapeutic benefits of Cannabis for mental health conditions and pain relief. Although this isn't what you would like for him to do , it may ease your mind or at least help you to get a better understanding of the reasons behind the usage and potentially guiding him to other methods of using it under the supervision of a medical professional for example.

[outlander]

hi @SallyBowles

one thing that stands out to me is possibly the need for some support for yourself. Someone who you are able to reach out and talk to when times are tough. Psychlogists and counsellors arent just for those who experience diagnosed mental illnesses but its for anyone who may need guidance, a venting space and someone to help them out with family struggles.
have you considered accessing some supports yourself? there appears to be alot of tough stuff happening right now.
im sorry i cant really offer an books that might be helpful but im here listening if youd like to continue talking

[YankeeBob]

I am a 74 year old man with a son who is bipolar. My son has cut off communication with myself.

Suggestion for you: Do a written Gratitude List each morning an evening.

YB