How to guide: Create safety online when talking about suicide

[Daisydreamer]

Hi there SANE Forums Community, 

This how to guide was designed to help you post to the forums and create safety for yourself and others when talking about suicide. 

Thoughts of suicide are something many people will experience in their lifetime.

For many members and readers here on the SANE Forums, thoughts of suicide may be a part of their mental health or life journey.   

If you are thinking about suicide, reaching out for support and talking about it is an important step to make sure that you get the right help when you need it most.  

For the times you are thinking about having this conversation in an online space such as the SANE Forums, we hope that this guide will help you to share safely about thoughts of suicide and seek support from others who understand what you are going through.  

Talking about suicide in an online space 

Sharing your story and experiences of suicidal thoughts, feelings or behaviours takes courage, and reaching out can connect you with others who share your experience and help you get the support you deserve. 

However, in online and anonymous peer support spaces, like the SANE Forums, it's important to use safe language when sharing your story/experiences of suicidal thoughts, feelings or behaviours. Safe language is important because: 
 

1. It allows others to feel capable and comfortable with providing you with support.  
2. It can protect other’s from common triggers and help someone else who is sitting with thoughts of suicide too.  

How we talk about suicide in the Forums is important for you, and for your fellow community members.

Our Community Guidelines are a good starting point to understand our safety guidelines when talking about suicide. The SANE Forums are also public facing, you can read more about this here: Staying Anonymous and Maintaining Your Privacy in the SANE Forums  We will talk about what the guidelines mean, and how posting safely helps to support our community.  

Before you post to the Forums 

The SANE Forums are a peer support community where most of the support is provided by peers. This makes it a great place to seek support from others who understand what you are going through. 

It's important to note though, the SANE Forums cannot provide crisis support. We have put together some questions you can ask yourself before posting to work out whether it’s the SANE Forums or a crisis service that might be the best option for you in the moment (adapted from the Chatsafe online resource). 

1. Where is the right place/service for me to ensure I get the right help at the right time?

If you are thinking about suicide, it’s important to get the right help at the right time.  

We have a flow chart to help you decide where the right place or service might be for you to seek help. This includes when it is okay to post to the SANE Forums, or when crisis services or emergency support might be the best avenue get the support you need.  

If you are posting because you are concerned about someone else's safety

If you are posting about experiences or concerns for another person who has suicidal thoughts, feelings or behaviours, you can use this flow chart to determine whether it is safe to post on the forums too (ie, “Are their thoughts of suicide current or something they have experienced in the past?”, “Are they able to stay safe today?”).  

If you are worried that another person is unsafe, it’s important that you reach out to crisis services or 000 in the case of an emergency. 

As a peer-to-peer support service, the SANE Forums can’t provide crisis support

This is because: 

• Most of the peer support that is offered across the forums comes from other members just like you. In a crisis, or when you are feeling unsafe, it is important that help comes from people who are trained to provide crisis support. 
  
• The nature of online forums mean that replies aren’t instant. This means you may not get the help exactly when you need it.  
  We do have Moderators and Peer Support Workers online 24/7 to monitor posts and offer support when needed, but the nature of forums means we can’t always be as responsive as you might need in a crisis. That’s where phone or webchat crisis supports are a good option to get timely support.  
• Language can be ambiguous or interpreted in different ways in online, which is why when we are concerned that someone might be thinking about suicide, we check in via post or email, and refer to crisis support 
  
  

 2. What am I hoping to get out of sharing my story? (aka: my purpose and needs) 

People talk about experiences of suicide for many reasons. This includes seeking help and support for thoughts of suicide, to raise awareness, or to support another person who might be going through something similar. There are lots of different reasons. Understanding your reason/purpose will help you work out the right avenue to meet your needs.  

3. What parts of my story am I comfortable to share and how will I feel when I share? (aka: my privacy and wellbeing)

We all have different boundaries around how much of ourselves and our story we feel comfortable to share in a public space. 

Ensuring you feel safe to share when talking about thoughts of suicide is important, whether that is in an online space, a private space (eg: with a counsellor or mental health professional), or with a trusted person in our lives.    

4. How can I write my story in a way that ensures I get the support I need and is safe for others reading?

Think about how you would write your story and whether you are in a space to be able to write in a way that is safe for all to read.  

We have some tips to help you do this. You can also look at our Community Guidelines.

How can I write about thoughts of suicide safely? 

1. Let the community know that you are safe: 

If you are posting about suicide, and are safe, then include that in your post. 
 
For example: “I have been coping with thoughts of suicide, but I am safe. I am looking for support from my peers”;
“Today has been really difficult, and I don’t know if I can keep doing this, but I am safe tonight and will reach out to a helpline if I feel I need to”  or; 
“I am someone who lives with thoughts of suicide each day, but if they get worse tonight I will go for a walk and speak with a friend. I am safe for now” 

If you aren’t feeling safe, it’s time to log off the forums and access crisis support. 

2. Use safe language: 

Our words have power, and it’s important that we use trauma safe language when talking about suicide on the forums. By trauma safe language, we mean language that is not graphic, upsetting or triggering for others to read. This includes staying away from graphic detail including means or plans, and making sure you are clear and direct about your current safety. 
 

3. Use trigger warnings: 

Help other forum members make an informed decision about whether to read on by including a trigger warning.  
You might add TW: mentions suicide in your title, or include Trigger warning: mentions thoughts of suicide in the first line of your post.
 

4. Avoid mentioning methods of suicide: 

Many members of the forums may have experience of suicidal thoughts, feelings or behaviours, and might be triggered, upset or impacted by mentions of methods.  
 
Instead, remove the methods of suicide and replace with more general statements such as “I think about action to end my life”, or “I have had thoughts of methods before”. You can still get your story across without listing the method.  
 

5. Let the community know what support you are looking for/what you need: 

You know what you need best, and letting others know means they can provide more effective support to you when you need it most.  

For example:  “I just need someone to sit with me right now”, “I would like some suggestions” or, “I need some distraction” 
 

I often hear Moderators/Peer Workers ask the question “Are you feeling safe for now?”. What does it mean? 

If we have reason to believe that you might be thinking about suicide, we will check in to see how you are feeling, and whether you are currently thinking about suicide.  You may hear us ask if you are safe, but safety can mean many things, so let’s define what we mean in the context of suicide.  

“Are you safe for now?”: 

If we are concerned that you might be thinking about suicide, we will ask you if you are safe for now. What we mean is, are you planning to act on thoughts of suicide now? 

"I am safe for now": 

If you are safe for now, we will encourage you to reach out and seek peer support through the forums. There are a lot of other people here sitting with thoughts of suicide too who know what it’s like to take steps towards safety.  

For many people, thoughts of suicide can be ongoing, so we may ask a few times as safety might change from hour to hour, or day to day. That’s why we say safety for now, as we are trying to understand your immediate safety and offer appropriate support.  

This is especially important in public online spaces where we don’t have the same communication options as we would in real life settings.  

It can be really helpful to have a safety plan prepared for times when you might have thoughts of suicide, which will help you take steps to seek help or safety. Beyondnow is a great online tool to help you build a safety plan. 

"I am not able to stay safe": 

If you tell us you are not able to stay safe, we will ask you to confirm if you are planning to end your life and if you have a plan. This will happen off the forums and via email.  

If you aren't able to or aren't sure that you can stay safe, this is when it is time to step off the forums and access immediate crisis support. In an emergency, the best place to seek help is to call 000, or go to your local emergency department.  

As a mental health service, SANE can be a safe space to share if you are feeling unsafe, and we will get emergency help to you. 

As mandatory reporters, if a forum member tells us or indicates that they are in serious and imminent risk of harm, including planning to end their life now, then we do contact emergency services. This is an important part of ensuring the safety and wellbeing of those who access our services.  

Mandatory reporting is (as the name suggests) mandatory by law, which ensures that every health service, including SANE, are looking out for the safety and wellbeing of the people we support.   

When might Moderators, Community Managers or Peer Support Workers step in? 
 

The SANE Forums team may step in when a post breaches our safety guidelines, and could impact the safety of the person posting or the wellbeing of those reading.  

We will remove or edit posts that mention or imply:

• A person intends to end their life, or doesn’t confirm safety in a way that could be upsetting for those reading. This includes where there are ambiguous mentions or inferences to suicide without confirming safety. 
• Methods of suicide or self harm 
• Graphic descriptions   

Check out the suggestions earlier in this post to help you stay within the guidelines. 

We will email members to: 

• Check in to see if a member is safe for now and offer referrals to crisis support 
• Check in with others who may have been upset by something they have read on the forums 
• Let members know if a post is removed or edited
• Offer suggestions of how to bring posts back in line with the guidelines 
• Let a member know if we are involving emergency services, if doing so doesn't put the person at further risk of harm

SANE has a responsibility to keep the Forums safe for everyone. This means that there may be times we will need to make tough decisions to remove a post, email you about the guidelines, or pause an account.  

If we are concerned about your safety, we want to make sure you have access to crisis services, and we will refer to options such as: 

• National crisis services such as Lifeline (13 11 14)  and Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). You can find a list of crisis services at the top of every page on the SANE Forums. 
• 000 in an emergency 
• SANE’s support services including counselling and peer support 
• Other services specific to your situation (eg: 1800Respect, BlueKnot, Mensline…) 

 
Summary 

Here are the key points: 

1. It’s important we can talk about suicide here on the forums 
2. How we talk about suicide is key to creating safety for the person posting, and those reading 
3. Using safe language, trigger warnings and letting the community know you are safe can help ensure you get the help you deserve, while also looking out for the community 
4. SANE staff may reach out to ask if you are safe and offer referrals to crisis supports. We may also remove posts that breach our safety guidelines around talking about suicide 
5. If you are unsafe and at imminent and serious risk of harm, we are required by law to get emergency help to you 

You are also welcome to check out some of SANE's policies and how to guides for more information including our Privacy Policy, Community Guidelines and How to Guide to Stay Anonymous and Maintain your Privacy on the Forums. 

Contact us: You can contact the SANE Forums team at team@saneforums.org if you have any questions or would like any further clarification. We are always happy to answer any questions you might have about how to post within the guidelines, and welcome your feedback!