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[BossBaby]

That's good @The-red-centaur you've been getting on with doing what is within your control to improve life and somehow escape or rise above some of the predictability of your pain cycle. And so good to hear that you've stayed in contact with your psychiatrist while offline. Hopefully they will have good enough advice and information to help.

I'm taking some unpaid leave to deal with the heart palpitations that returned with a vengeance. Being coached through a book by a choice theory instructor, more informative dreams, song lyrics, Bible and spiritual quotes, a big cry and a doctors appointment have all combined to sketch a mind map that is helping me find order and clarification to reduce some of the pressure. 

I found a section in the book that I thought could relate to your chronic pain. "Once you know choice theory, you will not waste your time and energy refusing to face what you want just because it is hard to get because you know that you will choose to suffer just the same." Or in your case you will suffer just the same to the extent that the pain is unavoidable. Hopefully with professional help and forum support you will be able to sketch a plan to gain enough strength/energy to keep pursuing the stuff that makes it all bearable.

[The-red-centaur]

@BossBaby please stay safe and keep looking after yourself. Please take care of yourself. 

[BossBaby]

@The-red-centaur By looking after my heart health I find my boundaries. I will live the life I've been designed to live and guard my heart above all else from new threats/pressures. As the book says, "This of course, is one of the dangers the new brain should keep in mind when it gives such extreme orders. The old brain is such a good soldier that it might be signing its own death warrant." Thank you for your care!

[The-red-centaur]

@BossBaby It's good that you are finding your boundaries. Stay strong. 

I have markets today. Bit anxious and I've barely slept. But I'm excited. I got this 😄 

[The-red-centaur]

Today was a bit of a failure 😞  I feel like I can't do this. 

[tyme]

Can you talk to someone about it @The-red-centaur ? Sorry to hear it is hard.

[The-red-centaur]

@tyme I tried to talk to community mental health. They didn't want to listen. 

I feel sore, defeated, and tired. I think I'll go to bed soon, even though it's not even 7pm yet. 

[tyme]

Awwww @The-red-centaur . Sorry to hear this. Is your support worker there? Can they chat to you?

[The-red-centaur]

I just want to sleep it off @tyme I should be OK. Just a disappointing day. 

[FridgeMagnet]

Hi @The-red-centaur ,

I'm sorry the markets didn't go well. In some ways yeah it felt like a fail but the important part, I think, is that you put yourself out there. Making change is not easy and you put yourself out there in a positive way.  The more times you can put yourself out there in a positive way the more likely something is going to work the way it should. Those people at the markets don't know what they are missing, you're fab.